Episode 7: I'm A Doctor Bro

This week, Brett joins the show to talk about Brian's gimpy leg, Alex Jones' old job and an awesome new Tech Startup Spelling Bee.

Released on April 16, 2014, 4:00 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show Notes by Leon - Latest version on BBpedia!

Cold Open

Brian and Justin tell you what to expect on tax day. Link.

Opening Video

None. In the preshow it was decided that since they now have a cold open, they don't really need to have a viral video to start the show anymore.

Ol' Hopalong Brushwood

After several days of lounging around playing video games 24/7, Brian was told to go for a run by Bonnie. On his run, he cut through a field where he stepped in a rabbit hole and severely sprained his ankle. For a couple minutes, Brian writhed in agony in the ditch before he called Bonnie to come help him. While lying prone in the grass, Brian watched as Bonnie drove right by him before she finally figured out where he was.

"I'm a doctor bro!"

Inspired by Brian's emergency room visit, the gang tried to come up with the worst situation that leads to someone telling you "Come on, I'm a doctor bro!". Most of the proposed scenarios included ejaculation.

Patreon

The Patreon is at $2007. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

In the mean time, here are some things that happen in the year 2007.

  • Justin had sex with a girl that had B.O. (No wait, that happened way earlier)
  • Brian pitched Scam School and did Halloween Horror Nights for the first time
  • Brett went on the road for the first time

PSA: Professional Sodomy Alert!

In the next couple weeks, they're going to release a mini-Night Attack album through Patreon. This particular release will most likely be titled "The Belmont Tapes" and feature a lot of Veronica and maybe a little Brett.

Alex Jones: Video Game Reviewer

Little known fact: famed Austin, Texas conspiracy theorist and conservative radio show host Alex Jones was once a video game reviewer at TechTV. IRREFUTABLE PROOF.

Justin read the Pokemon review as it was intended - in the voice of Alex Jones and with a few references to the Builderberg/Build-A-Bear Conference thrown in. After he read the review, it was decided that Alex wasn't right for TechTV and he walked off into the sunset with the sad Hulk music playing.

Sponsor

Mailroute

Avoid the spam cram and head over to Mailroute.net/NightAttack for a 15-day free trial.

Kevin Rose: Parasite

A week earlier there was a protest outside Kevin Rose's house regarding his position as a venture capitalist at Google Ventures. These people are upset at young entrepreneurs moving into the Bay Area and make life more difficult for those "who serve them coffee, deliver them food, suck their cocks, watch their kids and mop their floors." They want $3 billion from Google to start a Anarchist civilization. Imagine that they actually got the money and THIS was their declaration of independance.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to NightAttack.tv/DiamondTime or Bit.ly/plugmything.

Startup Spelling Bee

Brett was looking at AngelList and realized that it's full of made up bullshit words for company names. That's when the idea of a spelling bee using names of tech startups. This is just a test of the idea. The idea is to have tech people (like Molly Wood and Kevin Rose) to come on and compete in a giant tournament.

If you wish to play along then watch the god damn show, IDIOT. You're just gonna get all the answers right here.

  • Virool
    • Bonnie - Virol
    • Brian - Virool - Correct!
  • Famo.us
    • Brian - Famis
    • Bonnie - Thamous
  • Flyr
    • Bonnie - Fl1er
    • Brian - Fly.er
  • Udemy
    • Brian - Udemy - Correct

Aftershow

Right after the show ended, Justin screamed about how much of a douche Robert J. Sawyer was during his appearance on Sword & Laser at DragonCon. Then, long-time friend and patron saint of the show, Colleen stopped by the stream inside Justin's apartment.

Great Quotes

  • "Like Pikachu, I choose you. And by 'you' I mean me." - Justin as Alex Jones
  • "GEOCITIES.COM/INFOWARS!" - Justin as Alex Jones
  • "My food is cold, my coffee isn't here, my cock isn't sucked…" - Brett
  • "I'm shit wasted, I got two hours to sleep and in 4 hours I'll be in Auschwitz" - Justin when he was on a trip around Europe funded by the Anti-Defamation League.
  • "I just downloaded [app name]" - Brett
  • "Women in startups? *maniacal laughter* Women in startups, next they'll want the vote!" - Justin

Characters Featured

  • Alex Jones

Fun Facts

  • Justin once got thrown out of a Krakow casino because he had an iPod and they didn't know what it was

Preshow Doc

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