Episode 96: Barrister Paramore

The guys recount their exciting VR adventures and Brian FINALLY bought a puppy! Like… a real puppy, not the one he's been teasing for the past six months.

Released on December 23, 2015, 5:05 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Hey, ya know the difference between jam and jelly?

It's Diamond Club Day!

Hooray! It's Diamond Club Day! Five years ago on this day after an NSFW aftershow, Brian Justin, and Tom went offline to prerecord some stuff for a future episode and a few members of the Chatrealm pretended that they were watching what the guys were doing. In response to this, the guys brought in Cowgirlcurtis on Skype and actually did a show for just her. She was bestowed the title of the inaugural Diamond Club member and the day, THIS DAY, was deemed Diamond Club Day.

Review The Contender on Amazon

Go on Amazon and leave a review for The Contender. The best reviewers will be sent a Politically Incorrect expansion deck. That's not technically buying reviews, so this is TOTALLY legal! Go for it! Head over tobit.ly/contenderamazon.

Brian and Justin's Adventures in VR

The guys recapped more of their adventures around Austin filming VR videos since last week's episode. Locations included the Cathedral of Junk, barefoot waterskiing, a roller rink (including an awkward man-on-man couples skate), The Alamo, some sweet-ass caves and a glass blowing place. Since they're taking 360 degree video, literally everything around them is being recorded, so every time they started filming, the entire crew had to run and hide behind stuff. When the videos come out, you should totally try to find where the crew is hiding.

On the last day of filming when they were at The Alamo, Brian and Justin were cracking jokes to each other to keep up their spirits. As a Night Attack viewer/listener, it's not shocking to imagine that the guys were working a little blue. I'm not sure if you know the history of The Alamo, but there were kind of a ton of people that died there. So to all the security guards working there, they might've been told that these two guys would be filming a show for Discovery, but it really just looked like a couple of assholes making rude jokes with a fancy selfie stick.

Patreon

The Patreon is at $1583. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Friendly Recommendation

The Jingler

Use the offer code IMISSYOU and send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 10853 Oakland CA, 94610.

Brian Bought a Puppy

It finally happened! BRIAN BOUGHT A PUPPY! Unfortunately, this one isn't a 3-story firehouse with warehouse and studio space. This one is a black lab rescue. He doesn't have a name yet, but really needs one soon since the Brushwood daughters have taken to calling him "Blackie". So let's come up with a better name.

Name Suggestions

  • Bobo
  • Kylo
  • Digy
  • Max Trolldog (or just Max)
  • Verbal (Kint)
  • Pol Pup
  • Baxter (their name for their hypothetical human boy child)
  • Thunder

Barrister Paramore

During the puppy discussion, Ashley mentioned the circumstances around which they bought their birds. It was at this point in which Brian adopted an aggressive, powdered wig wearing, British accent and admonished Justin for shirking his household duties as the new character Barrister Paramore. Ashley is totally gonna annoy Justin with this voice.

Steve Harvey Fucked Up

So Steve Harvey hosted the Miss Universe pageant and when he announced the winner, he accidentally read the wrong name and crowned the wrong lady. After a minute or two he had to come back out and announce the actual winner. Watch that shit. Still a great night.

Brian Dances On

So Brian didn't win. Whatever. Still a great show.

Movie Draft Chat

  • STAR WARS IS MAKING SO MUCH MONEY!
  • Star Wars made $40 million on MONDAY. Jesus.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Twitchmas

Just like the did on Thanksgiving, Ashley and Justin will be streaming all day on Christmas. Head over toTwitch.tv/FakeGamerGirl on Christmas day when you're totally bored of your family.

Great Quotes

  • "NOW AVAILABLE: COCK JAMS: VOL. 4!" - Justin at the start of the show
  • "Man, that's some crazy trash." - Brian, seconds after gushing about the Cathedral of Junk on camera
  • "God created Adam and Eve with VR, not Adam and Steve with AGR." - Justin
  • "Hey! D'you see the Bears play basketball?!" - Justin during Diamond Time

Fun Facts

  • Justin sang a great song about Pol Pup during the puppy segment

Characters

  • Barrister Paramore

Preshow Doc

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