Episode 124: Night.Attack.Ep.124.HDTV.720P.ac3.xvid.avi

Justin talks about a new job that he probably shouldn't talk about yet, one of Brian's daughters has taken up the violin, we watch a lady get her hand stabbed by a magician and then Brian has conflicting feelings about meditation. I really hope you didn't pirate this episode.

Released on July 6, 2016, 4:00 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Handjobs from multiple Brians hanging from the ceiling.

"No Way" or "That's the Truth!"

Justin has a job lined up for which he has as of yet signed no paperwork. The guys kinda want to talk about it, but maybe they shouldn't. Instead of directly talking about it, they're gonna play a game where Brian asks questions and Justin can only answer with "No Way" or "That's the Truth!"

Basically, he's going to be representing BitTorrent's political division and will be doing videos for them in the lead up to the 2016 US election. He'll be going to Cleveland and Philadelphia for the Republican and Democratic national conventions.

For like a decade BitTorrent has been trying to distance themselves from the whole piracy thing. Nobody tell them that Justin is friends with Captain Morgan.

Brian's Doing a Lecture

Brian has done very few magic lectures in his career, but he's doing one pretty soon. It's with Penguin Magic in Columbus, OH on July 13, 2016. If you're in Columbus and you're reading this before the 13th, you can buy tickets here. If you're anywhere else in the world, you can buy the recording on Penguin Magic's website. Word on the street is that Andrew Mayne has a talk on there too.

Let Me Tell You Something About Brian

So when Brian has three things scheduled in one day, he just turns off his brain for a while. Bonnie started telling us about how she does all the chores, but Brian takes out the trash. When he gets real busy, he just doesn't take out the trash. At this point in the story, Brian was getting upset and wanted to defend himself.

Brian Defends Himself

Ok, so they went to four 4th of July parties, killed a bunch of copperheads, saw six geese (what?) and did Cordkillers. Then Brian's mom bought Josie a violin. Unfortunately all the noise from Brian and Bonnie, and the violin was distracting the piano tuner that they hired. So Brian and Bonnie had to whisper-argue about the trash with dramatic cues from the piano tuner in the background.

The "Give Us Money" Bit

The Patreon is at $1,466. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Hand Stabbers

So Brian Brushwood made a video of him "stabbing" his hand like 50 years ago. He even did it on The Tonight Show. Well recently a video of a similar, but real(?) stabbing video from a Polish tv show has made the rounds on the internet. Brian, Justin and Bonnie watched the video for the first time live on the show. They put on their detective hats to try and figure out what's going on. The verdict: "There is ZERO POINT ZERO percent chance this is fake" - JuRY

Also Justin went on a rant about journalists and their inability to resist magic puns. Then they both went on a rant about how apparently CNN can just steal videos and post them on their own YouTube channel.

If you're a relatively new person, you might not know that both Brian and Justin had/have careers in magic. Brian spent years touring the country with his stage magic show and Justin ran iTricks, the world's biggest magic news blog.Check out more smash and stab videos on iTricks.com

Movie Draft Chat

  • I'm getting a little ascared - Justin
  • It's fine - Brian
  • We're totally screwed if Secret Life of Pets can't usurp Finding Dory this week - Brian
  • I read a plot breakdown of Ghostbusters… bustin MADE me feel good - Justin

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Basically the Aftershow

They got talking about mindfulness and meditation and Brian talked about how he used to be like "BAAAHH FUCK YOUR MEDITATION. I WANNA BEER!" then Darren Kitchen mentioned that he meditated and Brian is SUPER ATTRACTED to Darren. Like, that dude is sexy as FUCK. Who doesn't want to be like Darren?

Anyway, Brian has been using the Headspace app for the last few weeks and he feels weird about it. Try to use the offer code #DARREN5 to get a six month trial. Though, it probably won't work since we just made that code up.

Actually the Aftershow

Brian, Bonnie and Justin talked about how well-suited (or not) the violin is for Josie. The consensus is: not well-suited. Apparently the reason Josie wanted a violin was because of all the people who told her how good she was at it. Real talk, Brian should just get her a melodica. Strike that, Justin bought one on Amazon and sent it to the Brushwood house.

Man, tell me that doesn't look like a big red dildo.

Apparently the Hanson brothers are dudes who would make beer now.

Speaking of Hanson, the Dust Brothers produced their most popular album. Have you seen the Dust Brothers website lately. And by "lately" I mean in the last 20 years, because it hasn't changed since then.

Then they talked a bit about all our friends talking about the Podcast awards over the last week. The awards even got a segment on Penn's Sunday School. Justin mentioned that some people (like Brian Ibbott) are looking into getting all the winners a trophy. And he ain't buying them from Todd Cochrane.

Here's some of the shows that talked about the Podcast Awards:

To close out the stream, Justin played some really old tracks that they had recorded for Cold Opens and Night Attack albums but haven't released. They were pretty great.

Belt Winner

Great Quotes

  • "Anyway Brian, your problems." - Justin after reading a Diamond Time post about a funeral

Fun Facts

  • According to Brian, "balls deep" is about 2 inches
    • He was talking about the literal size of testicles rather than the traditional definition of "balls deep"
  • Justin made it clear in the aftershow that his handling of the sad Diamond Time post was super uncool

Characters

  • None

Preshow Doc

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