Episode 157: Best Little Warehouse in Texas

Brian has some fun at the warehouse, Justin needs a bigger apartment, and we're back with another round of Apologizes For.

Released on February 22, 2017, 9:18 am UTC

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Show Notes

Preshow

Can edges2cats make a cat’s butthole? What about edges2shoes? What about edges2handbags?

Cold Open

Brian got a fancy drone and cut his hand on it. Bonnie felt the need to punish the drone by kicking it.

Justin Needs a New Place

Justin's wife Ashley had some friends over and it made Justin realize he can't have friends over because his apartment is too small. Justin needs a bigger apartment because his house guests feel very cramped.

Brian Injured His Hand…Again

Brian messed up his hand again by slamming a hammer into it. He thought he could just tough it out and be the pointer for the week. However, the next day he realizes he should’ve gotten stitches for it, but it was too late by the time he went to the ER. He had to resort to keeping his index finger pointed straight up to avoid screwing it up permanently.

Florida Travels Part 2

Brian got to go with the family to the Crystal River and swim with the manatees in Florida again for vacation, like a real vacation this time. He had to pile his family into this cheap ass car because he didn't book the flight until 72 hours before. Brian's daughters kept hogging the bathroom and so Brian couldn't bathe for 3 days, so he smelled like chlorine and manatee piss all weekend, gross.

The Warehouse Jerk Off

The family returned home from vacation just yesterday (Monday), and Brian had to prepare for the rock-block of shows that Diamondclub.tv has on Mondays: Weird ThingsAfter ThingsCordkillers, and Spoilerin' Time. To get ready for these shows, Brian tried to look for any excuse in the book to get away for a little while, so he went to go pickup the dogs. Before that, Brian stopped at the warehouse to "check on operations." Bonnie was wondering what was taking Brian so long to get back from just picking up the dogs. So Bonnie texts Brian, "So, what do you do when you run off to the warehouse?" Brian responds to Bonnie's text with, "Today, I needed a little alone time. Unrelatedly, did you know that it's been 11 days since I've injured my finger and can now form a fist with my right hand." Brian then proceeded to explain what he's been "doing" for 11 days. So yeah, that happened.

Patreon

The Patreon is at $1,592. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

STEWART MOORE! STEWART MOORE! STEWART MOORE! STEWART MOORE! STEWART MOORE!

Chatrealm really wanted Justin to turn on his neon sign that is in the background of his shot because it's been off for the last many episodes. He's left it off because it blows out the shot. He decided if the Patreon got to $1,600 he would turn it on, and it did!

Apologizes For

This is the game where we take a look at news articles that have "Apologizes For" in the headline. Brian and Justin have to guess what the person/company had to apologize for by filling in the blank.

  • Walmart Apologizes For _______ In Valentine’s Display

Brian's guess: An overly sexual image, looks like two people having sex

Justin's guess: Porn

Answer

Brian was closest!

  • TV's Steve Harvey apologizes for offensive joke about _________

Justin's guess: Trump

Brian's guess: Republicans

Bonnie's guess: Breastfeeding

Answer

No one got it right.

  • London cafe apologizes for smoothie with ________ on the label

Bonnie's guess: Breastfeeding, again

Brian's guess: Some bodily fluid, a booger, some matter

Justin's guess: Nazi symbol

Answer

Justin wins!

The drink was called "Nutzy."

  • Magician apologizes for ___ trick on teacher

Brian's guess: Knife

Justin's guess: Knife in paper bag

Bonnie's guess: Wand

Brian's second guess: Bra

Answer

Brian wins!

  • New York Post apologizes for, yet still defends, _____________

Justin's guess: Pictures

Bonnie's guess: A chart

Brian's guess: Op-ed

Answer

Justin was closest!

  • Pol Pot men say sorry for ______________

Bonnie's guess: Poorly written pop songs

Brian's guess: Massacre

Brian's second guess: For their name

Justin's guess: For suspiciously spending too much time at the warehouse

Justin's second guess: Music video

Answer

No one got it right.

  • After 15 Years, Actor Apologizes For _____________

Brian's guess: Racial remark

Brian's second guess: Homophobic remark

Justin's guess: Blackface

Bonnie's guess: Playing a mentally handicapped person

Answer

Brian wins!

  • Misspelled note on pickup apologizes for ‘anger _______’

Justin's guess: Naggers

Bonnie's guess: Despley

Brian's guess: Manajment

Answer

Bonnie wins 4 billion points!

Bonnie wins the game!

Final Score: Brian: 3 | Justin: 2 | Bonnie: 4,000,000,000

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • Rogue One has a weird ranking in our draft.
  • Justin thought Logan was not going to do well because it was another super hero movie, Brian thinks it will make all the money.

Aftershow

Justin has to talk about the Milo Yiannopoulos scandal on Politics tomorrow at 10am PST/1pm EST. We then took a look at fail videos to replace the flaming shot fail videos bit with. It looks like we've decided on news fail videos based on this big fail video from KDOC's New Year's show from 2012. It's bad.

YouTube

TBD

Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to Patreon.com/NightAttack and pledge ANY amount!

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