We have a date for SXSoWasted! Turns out April "Viking Lass" Ness looks a lot like Brian from the year 2000. What does this mean for her future? Plus, we play a new game where we take a look at some horny acronyms and try to figure out what they stand for.
Brian and Justin's butts hurt.
SXSoWasted is happening!
Our annual tradition of going to South by Southwest, but not actually going, is happening this Saturday, March 11 at 6pm at the Brew Exchange in Austin, TX! We'll get to hear the great Jomo and The Possum Posse, you know the ones that are famous for the viral video, Guy on a Buffalo, yeah, those guys! However, that's not all, we also have Dual Core! It's going to be a great night, so join us if you happen to be in the Austin area!
The 2000s Called and They Want Their Spikey Hair Brian Brushwood Back
Our good friend, April Ness, aka Viking Lass on Twitter and Twitch, took a shower last night, and when she came out "(she) saw oldschool @shwood staring back at (her)." You have to look at them side-by-side, me just talking about it doesn't do it justice, do it, look at it!
The Patreon is at $1,575. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.
JEREMY GABBARD! JEREMY GABBARD, YOU CLEVER SON OF A BITCH! JEREMY GABBARD! JEREMY GABBARD! JEREMY GABBARD! JEREMY GABBARD!
Remember last week when Justin said he was going back to his old school in Syracuse to give a talk? Well, he didn't do it drunk, he did it sober! Good job, fucko! It was some serious shit, because people were actually taking notes. Yeah, real notes. It wasn't as loose as Justin thought it would be. Being at Syracuse with his old classmates, and how far they've gotten in life after school made Justin realize how lucky he is to be in the position he is where he can fart around on the Internet and make money doing it, all thanks to Patreon and those Twitch dollars!
2000s Brian Brushwood Joins Us!
Hey, turns out the BBStudios can bring back people from the past and Brian Brushwood from the 2000s called in on Skype! He sounds really high pitched for some reason, although this was before his vasectomy, so who knows? On a totally unrelated note, go follow April "Viking Lass" Ness on Twitch!
So, Brian and Justin want to make a script about Asshole Pope, about a pope who's a bit of an asshole. Let's hope Hollywood picks it up as a series!
The Stephen Cogswell Jam of the Week
We have a brand new song from Stephen Cogswell this week about Awtfy, on Awtfy, oddly enough. Steven Cogswell is a national treasure! Go listen to it now at Awtfy.com/Awtfy!
Penny's Joke Corner Hour!
So Penny, Brian's oldest daughter, periodically comes up with jokes every now and again and this one's a real zinger! "Bidet sir, how are poo?" As Bryce rightly points out, that's a good tweet. Penny proceeds to ask what a bidet is. Bonnie explained what it was to her and Penny responds with a story of when she was at her Grandma's house and the bidet shot up to the celling due to the water pressure. Bonnie wondered what made Penny think about bidets and she thought it might be because the bathroom in the Brushwood guest room needs a new one. Penny than exclaims, we have one?!? Brian then suggested the idea of doing a Periscope of installing a bidet.
Horniness Acronym Game Hour, Sponsored By Netlingo
We have a new game that Bryce came up with based on a legit-ass study he found from the US National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health talking about "The emerging horniness of the internet, dated back to at least 1989." So Bryce looked for some horny acronyms on Netlingo, who's sponsoring this game oddly enough, and it's Brian and Justin's job to try to guess what the acronym stands for.
Brian's guess: Bitch, I oughta yank "ninjas."
Justin's guess: Grab some oar and soda.
Brian's guess: If I think.
Brian's second guess: If I time travel.
Justin's guess: Fuckin' u real time baby!
Brian's guess: Nine inches full of cum.
Brian's freebie guess: Nah, I forgot overture congress.
Justin's guess: Jackin' off, YOLO!
Justin's second guess: Just out of Yemen.
Justin's third guess: Jackin' off you.
Bonnie saw this truck with the back door oil-painted with a ripped Jesus on a cross showing off his muscles with the phrase, "Jesus is coming, are you ready?...", you have to see it for yourself. Pastor Thurgood heard us talk about ripped Jesus and stopped by to give us a very powerful message from the heart!
If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!
Movie Draft Chat
- Well, Logan lived up to some of the hype, it keeps Brian in the lead, although we kind of expected that.
- There are lots of bets that will be resolved after the week's over.
- There were a lot of good movies at a normally garbage time of year.
- "It's a sign, a sign from God-Jehova! Not just regular God, God-Jehova!" - Justin
- "That's a good tweet." - Bryce
- "We're a thing, I don't know." - Bryce and Justin
- Literally all the guesses from the horny acronym game.
- "Let's make a webpage out of a webpage." - Bryce
- Pastor Thurgood
Preshow & Aftershow
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