Episode 2: Dat Jesus Picture

The guys recap the Diamond Club Party at SXSW, Problem Solvers makes its Night Attack debut and they talk about their encounter with Alex Jones.

Released on March 12, 2014, 2:00 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show Notes by Leon - Latest version on BBpedia!

Cold Open

Captain Morgan - "Racecar Driver Abort"

Opening Video

Surfbort (7 Hours)

Veronica Belmont's Hand Fell Off

Veronica was supposed to be on the show, but her hand was eaten by an alligator. Interestingly enough, everything was fine until she drank Ruinum at SXSW.

The Diamond Club Party

Brian and Justin recap the awesome Diamond Club Party at SXSW. Spoiler alert! The Possum Posse and Tay Allyn were awesome. One of the highlights of the party was when the guys forced The Possum Posse to play "Critter Camp".

Patreon History Lesson

Current Patron total - $1915.63 from 1136 patrons. If you want to become a patron, head over to Patreon.com/NightAttack

  • WWI: The Royal Navy battleship HMS Formidable is sunk off Lyme Regis, Dorset, England, by an Imperial German Navy U-boat with the loss of 547 crew.
  • The controversial film, The Birth of a Nation, directed by D.W. Griffith, premieres in Los Angeles, California. It will be the highest-grossing film for around 25 years.

Pr0blem Zolverz

This is the Night Attack debut of Pr0blem Solverz! The plan is to have Sarah Lane come on the show once a month or so to solve your problems.

  • This guy's girlfriend says that he farts too much in bed, but he's asleep when it happens. What can he do?
    • Brian - Hey I hear you can't keep your second mouth shut!
    • Justin - Don't be so crass! Pull out a cork and plug up that ass!
    • Sarah - Use a little beano and a Hot Pocket.
  • This guy has a friend (who is a girl) and he wants to be more than friends, but he doesn't know how to go about it.
    • Justin - So you got a friend and you don't want her to be so friendly.
    • Sarah - Girls don't want a dozen flowers. Give her a dozen pizzas.
    • Brian - Listen to that, now she's fat.
  • He isn't happy with his lazy wife anymore. How can he get her to stop blowing his money and start blowing him?
    • Brian - So you wanna die alone?
    • Sarah - Have you heard of ambien sex? Give her some ambien and she'll go down on you all night.
    • Justin - Her head's made of bone and you deserve to die alone.
  • His ass-crack was put on display for the world at a Magic the Gathering tournament Link
    • Justin - You just got put on blast when a dude took a picture of that ass.
    • Brian - Go for dick pics!
    • Sarah - You know what you are sir? The next Mt. Gox.
  • Sarah has a virtual pet on her phone that she is afraid to leave alone.
    • Brian - Sarah Lane? I hear you're acting Sarah LAME!
    • Justin - Smash your iPhone, who cares? It's a fake pet.
    • Brian - Best bit ever. Smooth as butter.

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How Brian and Justin Met Alex Jones

The guys tell the story of how they met Alex Jones when they took Penny to 'Blazer Tag' for her 10th birthday. Fun fact: Alex Jones liked Justin's San Francisco Federation shirt.

Diamond Time

This is the time where Justin and Brian

Great Quotes

  • "I call it the 'OKKK'." - Justin
  • "Yeah, I'm just trying to turn you guys off." - Sarah
  • "Hey, let's actually get reckless…" - Justin during the Mailroute ad

Fun Facts

  • MikeTV made an awesome new end-of-show song for Night Attack, which debuted this episode.

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