Episode 29: Bobama Scancypants

Brian is finally back in Austin as he and Justin debut their new segment "The Tech Guise", Jackie Hern tells us a very personal story which the guys turn into a comedic bit and BoBama is born.

Released on September 17, 2014, 2:00 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - See the latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Captain Morgan ties up his money with urchins so seagulls don't steal it.

Chit Chat

Things are finally back to normal. Brian is back in Austin and Justin is out traveling.

Justin told the story about his GoGame in Tampa a few days earlier. He was unable to get to sleep the night before his 9 am game. So he decided that he would have to break down drink some booze in order to wind down. Brian fully supports this practice and wants society to "normalize medicinal alcohol". Bonnie asked whether or not medicinal alcohol was provided by Obamacare, then a delightful mispronunciation lead to an exploration of the man they call "BoBama".

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The Tech Guise

Brian and Justin are a couple of guys who like to talk tech. We know you have tech questions, and they're taking your calls!

  • Bonnie - She has a really tech savvy husband. But her laptop keeps telling her that she has a counterfeit copy of windows.
    • Justin - Sounds like she has a really cheapskate husband.
    • Brian - Maybe she doesn't remember that he installed that to get rid of a virus that her daughter installed and he hasn't gotten around to validating it.
  • His ISP (Time Warner Cable) keeps cutting out on Tuesday nights during his favorite podcast.
    • As a disinterested third party, who definitely didn't used to have Time Warner Cable, they can seriously fuck off and die.
  • Taylor Karras - He has a good computer, but he wants to break it for some reason. How does he break it. Also his sunburn from last week fucked off.
  • His computer keeps informing him that he won a free iPad even though he already gave them his credit card info.
    • The problem is that he hasn't given is credit card info to Patreon.
  • He registered a domain name (GoHomeSanta.com) for a friend and it needs to be renewed, but he forgot what registrar he used.
  • He's left-handed, but he wants the new Apple Watch that is made for right-handers. Also he's a little fat.
    • Pocket watch bro. Put a chain on that shit! And don't blame the watch for your fat arms!
  • He's the owner of a failing netcast network, what can he do to spice up his content?
    • Fire and possibly ban two people.
  • He got an unintelligible email asking for tech support.
    • Have you touched a vagina? Yes? Problem solved
  • He just watched this scary documentary on TV called TRON. How can he avoid getting sucked into a computer?
  • Can you guys send some decent internet to Australia?
    • No.
  • He's getting a lot of spam in his inbox.
    • You can punch a child in the face, you can snort crystal meth or you can drown the pizza chain, Sbarros, in a river. If those options don't work, you can consult Edgar J. Hitler.
  • He's got a lot of Betamax tapes and he wants to upgrade to some optical format.
  • You guys got any soup?
  • He got his dick stuck in a floppy drive. Is that covered under Obamacare?
  • His phone is too small and he needs a phone that just barely fits his pants pockets. Should he get the iPhone 6+ or the Galaxy Note 4?
    • Just get a DirecTV satellite dish.
  • He wants a new phone, but he wants it to come with a ton of crappy music.
    • Buy literally any Apple product and you'll get a late-stage album from an aging rock band.
  • Sometimes he's on public wifi and he needs to feel safe like he's covered in a blanket.
    • We don't get paid by those cunts anymore.
  • I'm an old granny and I love your show-
    • FUCK YOU
  • He needs a way to watch Padre's Corner and Night Attack at the same time.
    • NOT POSSIBLE! We don't support people that abandon the Diamond Club.
  • He has 4 billion unread emails. What should he do?
    • "Probably, kill yourself."
  • Captain Morgan can't find his boat and he can't print. Some kind of 1099 error.
    • Stop sullying the intellectual property of Captain Morgan with your shitty jokes.

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Music Video Breakdown

Brian and Justin (as BoBama) watched an commented on Limahl's Never Ending Story.

BoBama Reviews Movie Sequels

Somehow, Justin started discussing the relative merits of various movie sequels as BoBama.

Repairing Jackie Hern's Family

Jackie Hern is helping her parents move when she found some letters between her mom and some other man, who have apparently been having an affair for most of their life. Then she found some letters between her father and some french lady who may or may not be real.

When Jackie first called, Brian and Justin were in full-on joke mode and kinda bowled right over her with the Church Singer. It got a little awkward for a moment, until they called Jackie back and got the full story. Her mom was apparently banging an art teacher, and Jackie believes that her dad's french mistress isn't real and was just a ploy to get back at her mom. According to Jackie the letters are pretty explicit, however she didn't have any of the letters with her to read on the air. In place of reading the letters, Brian and Justin performed what they assume the letters said. Their performance included puppets, sexy talk, and 80s/90s references.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the Diamond Club Subreddit and submit your thing. Just be sure to include "[diamondtime]" in the submission title.

Aftershow

Justin came up with a new character, James Thurgood, a youth pastor who talks about how its ok to have sexual fantasies involving the Holy Trinity.

Great Quotes

  • "Is getting blotto your motto?" - Justin
  • "...they called me 'Road Fucker' when I was 8 years old." - Brian
  • "Scansy pants!" - Justin and Brian
  • "Ixnay on the OGameGay." - Brian
  • "Why are you still here? Kill yourself!" - Brian after somebody called on Justin's skype line.
  • "If the jokes are funny enough, I wouldn't mind dying on that hill." - Justin in regard to the possibility that he is assassinated for his off-color religious bits.

Fun Facts

  • At one point, the guise of "The Tech Guise" got a little too thin. In order to keep them in line, Justin and Brian reenacted a scene from Pulp Fiction that was particularly relevant to the situation.
  • When they were looking through the DragonCon album at the end of the show, Brian definitely saved an HTML file rather than saving the actual picture.

Characters Featured

Preshow Doc

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