Episode 30: I Love You George, Amen

Andrew Mayne makes his Night Attack debut with the Startup Spelling Bee, Brian and Justin talk about their iPhone purchasing experiences and we finally hear some of Jackie Hern's parents' love letters.

Released on September 25, 2014, 6:33 pm UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - View the latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

The Captain's version of Thank You For Being A Friend

The New iPhones

So Brian bought Bonnie a new iPhone 6 out of the goodness of his heart. Of course, Brian is testing it out for a few weeks to make sure it's ok. In an amazing coincidence, the iPhone 6 test period ends at the same time that Brian's iPhone 6+ is set to arrive.

The guys told the story of their experiences on iPhone release day. Brian was upset that his 6+ was shipping rather than delivered on release day. Justin, on the other hand, asked on twitter where he could get a 6+ without a pre-order and Chatrealm delivered! Well, they didn't literally deliver, Justin had to drive an hour and a half to pick up the one 64GB iPhone 6+ at an AT&T store that a Chatrealmer set aside for him.

Brian Fucked Up Bonnie's iPhone

If you're a hardcore fan of the show, you know that Brian likes to go on some pretty long bike rides. He likes to listen to audiobooks on his iPhone which is attached to his bike. Unfortunately, since the iPhone 6 is larger than Brian's old iPhone 5, he had to improvise and use some tape to secure the new phone. As you might've guessed, this was not quite as secure as you would want. He hit a bump in the road and his shiny new iPhone skidded across the road. Luckily the phone escaped with just some scuffs around the corners. When Brian broke the news to Bonnie, she was relieved since she wouldn't be the one who was burdened with applying the first imperfections to the device.

Patreon

The top hats and monocles are back!The Patreon is at $2009. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Andrew Mayne's Book Has Been Released

Andrew has a new book out called Angel Killer. You may remember that this book was released a while earlier as a $0.99 e-book. Well, now he's got a professional editor and publisher to make the book totally legit. Every page has been revised and this new version is about 30% larger. You can get the book on Amazon in whichever format you want: paperback, kindle or audio book.

A special addition that Andrew Mayne made sure was included into this version was a special "thank you" to the Diamond Club at the front of the book.

League of Untrustworthy Gentlemen

The guys realized how sketchy they can appear and decided to form L.U.G. (The League of Untrustworthy Gentlemen). Featuring "Don't Trust Andrew Mayne, Brian "Scam School" and Justin "Possibly Arab" Robert Young. Coincidentally, Brian points out, LUG also stands for "Lesbian Until Graduation".

Startup Spelling Bee

Andrew is the latest contestant in the startup spelling bee.

  • Beep
    • Guess: Beep - Correct!

Final score: 3 out of 8

Friendly Recommendation

Squarespace

Squarespace is the fast and easy way to create a high quality website, blog or portfolio. They've got some sweet-ass tools and templates to make some awesome websites without you needing any knowledge of HTML.

Mr. and Mrs. Hern's Adulterous Love Letters

Last week on the show, Jackie Hern called in about her parents' adulterous love letters that she found. Just to recap, they had been fooling around when Jackie was just a youngin. Her mom was apparently fooling around with her art professor, but Jackie believes that her dad's letters are fake and were simply written as a response to his wife's letters.

Jackie sent Brian and Justin copies of the letters for them to dramatically reenact the love affair. Inspired by these letters, Brian and Bonnie wrote some of their own letters to their fake lovers. It was amazing.

Shut Up And Like It!

The last of the DragonCon 2014 shirts are on sale. They have shirts in every size left, however you don't get to pick what colors you get. SHUT UP AND LIKE IT! The shirts are $7.99 each with $5.99 shipping. They're available at NSFW.ScamStuff.com.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the Diamond Club Subreddit and submit your thing. Just be sure to include "[diamondtime]" in the submission title.

Great Quotes

  • "Your dick has been wet for five years! We just want to know how to make you cum!" - Brian
  • "Angela Killier" - Brian
  • "Seed money… how many dollars is that worth?" - Brian
  • "The new startup promises to bring glory to the Korean Peninsula" - Brian
  • "Squarespace.com: It's like a hard dick." - Justin
  • "I love you George, Amen." - Bonnie

Fun Facts

  • Bonnie definitely fell asleep in the studio during this episode.

Preshow Doc

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