Episode 80: Waffle Stomp

This is an old school, hangout episode. No games, no bits, just Brian, Justin and Brett talking and making jokes for almost two hours, then an old friend returns for the final portion of the show.

Released on September 2, 2015, 2:30 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Preshow

In the preshow, Brian played a bunch of videos at half speed with this piano cover of "Where Is My Mind" on top of it. He also continued last week's tradition of playing DMX's "X Gon' Give it to Ya" on top of the same videos.

Cold Open

FUCK YOU, MARIJUANA!

Let's Talk About Last Week

The guys have a shit ton of projects going on right now. Lets talk about what they've been up to since the last episode.


Justin:

So ya know that game that Justin has been talking about for the entire summer? The Contender? Well the Kickstarter was looking for $15,000 and they made $142,551. Justin andJohn Teasdale talked a bit about their feelings on how things turned out. Spoiler: they're happy, but now they have a ton of responsibilities. If you missed out on the Kickstarter, you can still order your deck at TheContender.us.

Brian:

Flew out to LA, hung out with friends, flew to Kuala Lumpur via Taipei, gave a talk and a workshop. The trip from Austin to Kuala Lumpur took 31 hours with an 8-hour layover in LA and a 3-hour layover in Taipei. Justin and Brett berated him for not spending "the forty fucking dollars for a United Club membership". Brian explained that he probably could have done two magic tricks and mentioned that he has a TV show to get a free upgrade, but he saw a group of young Chinese girls and he felt bad about the idea of scamming his way into first class.

Anyway as he was on the plan, Brian dropped into the chatroom to talk out what he would be talking about in Kuala Lumpur. He pretty much just threw out the original presentation he had planned and instead went with this new talk about how to grow an audience. Once he got off the plane, the talk that he thought was the next day, he actually had to do in two hours. Having been traveling for 31 straight hours, he smelled pretty bad and since he had to go straight to the talk, he had no time to change. The talk went really well and he apparently gave an interview on Malaysia's CNN equivalent that went out to 30 million people. WE NEED TO FIND THIS VIDEO! FIND THE VIDEO!

Oh and there was also a bit of a revolution going on in Kuala Lumpur at the same time. And remember when he was in France and there were massive Uber protests? Ehh, once is a coincidence, twice… I dunno. I'm not sayin… I'm just sayin.

At this point, the guys went on a weird tangent about magician Marco Tempest acting like Andrew Dice Clay.

Brett:

He went to Baskin-Robbins

Patreon

The Patreon is at $2090. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Let's Talk About Next Week

Oh yeah, Justin's getting married. The wedding is at 4pm in the Hilton at Dragon Con this Saturday. Usually Justin would just be super excited about going to Dragon Con which is literally the greatest event of the year, but the stress of his wedding is kind of overshadowing everything. It's kind of strange that he's so stressed out when Ashley has done literally 99% of the wedding planning. It was at this point that Brian, Justin and Brett stepped aside to let Ashley and Bonnie give their take on the wedding.

Friendly Recommendation

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Mother Teresa's Dick

Here's another segment that is completely unrelated to any other segment of this podcast. The guys riffed a bit about Mother Teresa's Dick. Alright, hold on! We're not talking about her penis, we're talking about her child detective, Harry Cuntledong.

Hey Everybody, The New Scam School Book is Out!

The latest Scam School book, Scam School Academy, is available now. Brian decided to get a taste of his own medicine as everyone took their best shot at an offensive ad read to pitch Brian's latest product.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Brian's Going to Be A Professional Dancer

There's one thing that Bonnie prohibits Brian from doing on the internet: Dancing. Well, Brian has been invited to compete in the Dance Showdown on the DanceOn YouTube channel. Nothing is official yet, but it looks like it's gonna happen and Brian is absolutely terrified. If you think this is a dumb move, you should also know that Brian is going to be getting paid a lot of money for this, so it's all good.

BBLiveShow Reunion

Hey OhDoctah's here! The whole BBLiveShow gang is back together! OhDoctah wasn't totally on board with Brian doing the dancing show until he heard how much Brian was getting paid, at which point he said "Ohh! Ok, yeah go for it."

Aftershow

Remember the NSFW Show? That was a fun time. We looked back at some old NSFW episodes, primarily Approved Bits. Then at one point Brian just started playing the episode 219preshow. It was pretty weird since it was Brian and Justin laughing at a video of Brian and Justin laughing at a Jackie Hern puppet video featuring Brian and Justin.

Great Quotes

  • "Bonnie is the Comic Book Guy for child rearing." - Justin
  • "A nickel a tickle, dime in your brine" - Everyone during the Patreon plug
  • "It's gonna be like According to Jim, but gayer" - Justin talking about Night Attack hosted by two married guys
  • "...the only rhyme I could think of was Justin's schlong." - Brian during the talk about Justin's wedding
  • "Gays are the superior race, my friend." - Brian during Diamond Time
  • "Oh that guy's just aching to pull his dick out!" - Justin during Diamond Time
  • "I thought it was bros before hoes, but it turns out it's hoes tellin me how it goes." - Brian
  • "THE BRIANS ARE GETTING TOO PUMPED! Piss on the shower!" - Justin in the aftershow (a reference to "GET DOGS PUMPED)

Fun Facts

  • Chatrealmer Karl was live in Justin's studio for this episode
  • None of the hosts knew what a "Waffle stomp" was until after they named the episode
    • If you're curious, here's waffle stomp on the Urban Dictionary: Link

Characters

  • Captain Morgan during the Patreon segment
  • Harry Cuntledong during the Mother Teresa's Dick segment

Preshow Doc

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