Episode 87: Beauty and the Beasts of No Nation

Korey and Martin finally return after the trainwreck of an episode they were on a year and a half ago. Does this one go well? Yep! We talk about how Korey accidentally committed a B&E, we skim over the Canadian election results and talk A LOT about movies.

Released on October 20, 2015, 8:47 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Why does Justin keep staying at Brian's house?

Oh Fuck, Not This Again

Korey and Martin are back and we're REALLY hoping Brian and Justin don't have another meltdown. Remember what happened way back in episode 9? Eugh, that was rough.

Korey Accidentally Committed a B&E

So when Korey goes over to Brian's house, it's not unheard of for Korey to just open the front door and walk right in. Tonight, when he reached the Brushwood estate he knocked on the door, when nobody answered, he just let himself in. Nothing crazy. This is all a totally normal thing that happens. Unfortunately Korey accidentally walked into the wrong house and he when he didn't recognize the unfamiliar middle-aged white woman, he was ready to be shot dead on the spot. This is Texas after all.

Fortunately for Korey, this middle-aged white woman was a pleasant one. She greeted him with a smile and asked "Who are you? Can I help you?". She was actually so calm it kinda seemed like the start of an interracial porn. Korey got so nervous that all he could spit out was "uh uh um err Brian Brushwood". Apparently this kind of things happen all the time, she responded "Oh people come here looking for him all the time." Even stranger was when she said "I got teenage girls upstairs and I thought you were someone coming to join them!" So that's a thing.

Canadian Election Coverage

So the Canadian Presidential Prime Ministeral election was going on during the show so Brian and Justin wanted to provide wall-to-wall coverage of the events. It was gonna be a whole improv bit where they made jokes about Canadian politics since none of them know anything about the subject. Korey and Martin derailed it immediately and it devolved into some weird launching of Brian and Korey's announcement of their intent to become the next Prime Minister.

Patreon

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It was at this point where Korey got all serious and thanked Brian for pushing him to start up DoubleToasted.com after Spill.com died a fiery death.

There's A Star Wars Trailer

So another Star Wars trailer was debuted earlier in the night during Monday Night Football. The four of them are all varying degrees of Star Wars fans and they mostly just talked about their feelings on spoilers and how it'll be better than the prequels.

Was 'Bridge of Spies' Good?

"Yes." - Korey and Martin

Beasts of No Nation

Netflix has released their first feature film and it's about the horrific situations that child soldiers are put into. Brian watched it with Bonnie and halfway through Bonnie legitimately got mad at Brian for proposing that they watch it. Brian was a total asshole to her too. Anyway, the four guys in studio had a discussion about movies that are super horrific and depressing, like 12 Years A Slave andHotel Rwanda (for Dogs).

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Let's Respect Random Idiots' Dumb Opinions on Movies

Justin flies United and they let you download movies to your device. Recently, he found the dumbest thing he's seen in a movie in 2015: Channing Tatum roller skating everywhere in Jupiter Ascending.

This lead to a discussion on different people's opinions on movies. Korey brought up the point that it's cool if you say "this movie appealed to me", but it's pointless to try to convince someone who hates a particular movie that it's good.

The Corndog Man

Years and years ago, Brian and Korey watched a movie called The Corndog Man from 1999. Brian started explaining the plot, but went off on a tangent like five different times. He compared the experience of watching it with Korey to watching Beasts of No Nation (a horrific and uncomfortable movie) with a guy right next to you laughing the whole time. Ten minutes later Korey finally takes over and explains that the movie is about a super racist dude trying to buy a boat or something. The dude works at "Triple K Marine" and the movie features very poorly applied blackface. IT'S A COMEDY! LOL

Let's all watch The Corndog Man by next week and we'll all report our findings.It's free on Hulu!

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Let's All Watch Brian Dance

So it turns out Korey and Martin didn't know that Brian is on a YouTube reality dance competition. Live on the show they watched the second episode of DanceOn in which Brian played dance charades with his partner. It's great, you can watch their opinion of Brian plummet over the course of the 10 minute segment. It got a little better when they found out how much money he got paid. Also they totally understood when the found out that Brian also did the show just so they'll have three awesome months of Night Attack.

And GO VOTE FOR BRIAN!

Aftershow

There was about 30 minutes of normal aftershow bullshittin. Neshcom and Tensorguy talked for a bit Brian and Justin came back and talked about the show, they came up with a great new Cargill/Hulk Hogan mashup impression. Then they played Hearthstone for an hour and got Dills on Skype to coach them through a game. It was pretty cool.

 

Great Quotes

  • "What's the guy that has that fuckin' Victorian-ass name?" - Korey asking about David Copperfield (Preshow 25:57)
  • "The prequels was a 55 or 60-year-old man in his Marin house filling up a room by himself with farts and then opening up the door and allowing America to smell them." - Justin talking about Star Wars
  • "That's what he does. He likes to pick songs and put them in movies." - Korey imitating people's opinions on Quentin Tarantino's song choices
  • "I'm looking at how much you got paid. You're not a fame whore, you're just a whore." - Korey during the Dance Showdown segment
  • "We get it, we get it… You're black, you got huge dicks." - Brian, at the very end of the show
  • "Ya ever notice that Cargill is the same as Terry Hulk Hogan?" - Brian doing a Cargill voice that sounded like Hulk Hogan (Aftershow)

Fun Facts

  • Yep, Neshcom still looks like Big Head from Silicon Valley
  • Squaresoft SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS
  • Roboto Villegas stepped in to do the Movie Draft Minute this week
  • Neshcom switched the show and Tensorguy was in the studio audience

Characters

  • None?

Preshow Doc

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