Episode 88: What is wrong with your face?

Man, this is quite an episode, Justin recalls a harrowing experience of overwhelmingly positive customer service, we examine some racial slurs, Brian might have a medical condition, and then Tay Allyn joins us for a girls night!

Released on October 28, 2015, 2:00 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Preshow

Before the show started, Brian's Hitler china was mentioned but never explained. The story was told before, but I guess not everyone has written an encyclopedia on Brian and Justin's shows so a bunch of people didn't remember. They talked about it back in episode 42 We're Number 2Here's the timecode link (@42:08 if the timecode doesn't work).

Cold Open

Alright so Guinness has curative properties, but what does Captain Morgan have?

Where Did the Term "Siamese Twins" Come From?

I dunno. They were from Siam?

Suicidal Pilots

So Justin was on an early United flight this week and he was in the first row behind first class. As he sat down, up in first class Justin could hear someone very earnestly talking to another passenger. He couldn't quite hear exactly what was being said, but it sounded like someone giving an Amway pitch. A few minutes later, the flight attendant handed Justin a card from the pilot. It was just a normal business card, but on the back was a handwritten note from the pilot thanking him for being a United 1K passenger.

It was at this point that Justin realized the conversation he overheard was the pilot thanking the people in first class for flying United. The first thought that popped into Justin's head was that the pilot is committing suicide and making amends with the passengers. Spoiler: the plane didn't crash.

Cracker: "Ehh, Who Cares" Or "Ehhhh Super Awkward"?

Bonnie and her eldest daughter, Penny, were having a fun time in the kitchen when Penny started talking about crackers. This were pretty joke-y, but at this point Bonnie felt the need to explain that "cracker" has a racial connotation. Before Bonnie could explain what happened, the guys went off on an extended tangent about "guera", a Mexican-Spanish slang term for a white girl.

So "cracker". Bonnie explained that it could be a bad word to describe white people. Penny was just worried about whether or not she could still eat crackers. At this point (in the show, not in front of Penny), Brian explained the possible racial origin of the term "cracker". Who know's if this is the real origin, but it goes that white people are called crackers, because they were the ones who "cracked" the whip back in slave times.

Justin also teased that "picnic" has an apocryphal racial origin. Look it up. Or don't.

Hey Bryce I Don't Think You're Producing the Show Right

Brian stopped the show to point out some audio levels.

Brian's Got A Zit

Brian got a big ol' zit and it got bad enough for him to look kinda like he has Bell's palsy. LOL Brian is such a weirdo, he freaks out about EVERYTHING! HA! Fun times. Anyway, it might actually be Bell's palsy, he's going to the doctor tomorrow. This just got way less funny.

Patreon

The Patreon is at $1983. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Tay Allyn

Tay Allyn is here and she has a new video out called "What's Your Sign?". She and her coven of witches cast a spell on all the trolls of the internet.

GRLZ NITE!

Ok, so like, back during DragonCon Tay was TOTALLY trying to get with gmcfosho. Like, she was looking to get with him and he was looking for a serious monogamous relationship. Then gm got real deep and stuff. Like, wut? Leave that for your therapist. Tay never responded. OK! OK! OK! So what are we gonna text him! Bonnie, said to send him a pizza emoji, but she's like a MOM w/e. OMG during the show she TOTALLY sent a text saying "I'm back baby *pizza emoji*" and something else, I forget. I'm such a dork! LOL

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! GM IS WATCHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE RESPONDED WITH A PIZZA EMOJI!!!!!! BEST GRLZ NITE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing with the "Stars"?

It's episode 3 of the Dance Showdown. This week, Brian and Brinn had 20 minutes to come up with a dance based on the novel 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. They couldn't talk to enhance the dance so no, he couldn't yell "My penis the the nautilus". As is tradition, we watched Brian dance in front of millions of people and we all had fun watch Brian shrivel up from watching himself dance, but there's a price for all this. VOTE FOR HIM!

Head over to dctv.link/votebrian to vote for Brian and Brinn. They won the fan favorite award for the past week. Keep it up!

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

Star Wars presale tickets are gonna outgross everything else (hyperbole). They've already sold $6.5 million on IMAX presale tickets alone.

Aftershow

Hey, are phone sex lines still a thing? We should call one on the show! Maybe next time (read: "never"). Also, they watched some Drake meme gifs. And we're all marching towards a cliff and we're gonna die, so stop worrying about it. ANYWAY HEARTH AND OATES!

Great Quotes

  • "I have a question for your two friends here, constantly with this shit, right?" - Justin on Tay Allyn's antics.
  • "Your penis IS the Nautilus!" - Justin after watching Brian's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea dance
  • "If there's one thing we know for sure it's that OhDoctah could talk his way into sleeping with gmcfosho." - Justin

Fun Facts

Preshow Doc

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