Show Notes
Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia
Cold Open
Is Brian's dick just a coin with a string tied to it?
The Tech Press is Turning on SXSW
So apparently it's cool to shit on SXSW now. It used to be that every year there was some hot new app that took the world by storm. Twitter, Foursquare, Meerkat (and then they totally died instantly). Inspired by the tech press' lack of enthusiasm about the Austin event, Brian did a Donald Trump impression about how "SXSW doesn't win anymore".
We Killed the Podcast Awards(?)
So last year we dominated the Podcast Awards as we got a clean sweep in like eight different categories or something where all of our Frogpants friends and Night Attack won every award we were nominated for. Shortly after last year's ceremony, they announced that the awards wouldn't be held at New Media Expo in 2016. At the time I think we all assumed that the Podcast Awards were dead, but apparently it's the New Media Expo that's dead. However, just before this episode recorded, it was announced that the Podcast Awards would be reworking the rules for the entire process. There's probably going to be a clause that specifically bans any Diamond Club podcast.
Pop Culture Corner
Justin is live in-studio with Brian so they've done pretty much zero prep for the show. Let's talk about current events. Brian asks when Katy Perry will cover the Road Runner theme song. Who knew there was a Road Runner theme song?
That 70's Podcast
Bonnie mentioned that the Road Runner intro theme was "70s as…". Justin and Brian tried to get her to finish her sentence (and get the belt), but they just ended up talking about all sorts of 70s things like the color yellow, gas prices, moustaches and AIDS not being a thing.
Patreon
The Patreon is at $1528. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.
The guys looked up the most recent patron and told his story. Matt just joined the Patreon club 41 minutes earlier and they improvised a story about how he played guitar and sang a song about his time in Mexico.
Also every week this summer, they're going to drop some mixtapes of unreleased album tracks. This is the second week in a row they've released one to patrons so I see no reason why they won't make it for the next 20 weeks or so.
You Wanna Talk Politics for a Little Bit?
Justin: "What's your take on Trump?"
Brian: "Hmm."
Justin: "Ok."
Anyways, they actually talked about Trump for a bit. Justin mentioned that Trump detractors have gotten more urgent, but still can't stop talking about him. At that point, the guys started singing "Might as well face it, you're addicted to Trump" to the tune of "Addicted To Love". Brian's oldest daughter Penny is 11 and is learning about Trump. When Justin was 11, Hillary Clinton was in the White House. At the same time Brian was out of High School and getting his hands all up on Bonnie for the first time. They imagined them doing Night Attack with an excited and innocent 11-year-old Justin and a 19-year-old Brian trying to get some action with Bonnie.
What's A Pap Smear?
… Then Bonnie brought up Pap Smears and Brian didn't know what that test entailed and thought there might've been peanut butter involved. Bonnie explained what it was, but then they played a Pap Smear video in the studio without showing it to the audience. It was very informative for half the audience. LOL more like 95% of the audience amirite?. Mostly dudes watch this show.
At this point the discussion became about whether each of them prefer a same-sex doctor for genital examinations. Brian: It's gotta be a dude. Justin: Whatevs. Bonnie: Ladies know ladies (but sometimes they're unsympathetic).
Friendly Recommendation
American Chuckle Mutts
They're Laughing Dogs
Friendly Recommendation
Bananas
They're hard to open.
Friendly Recommendation
American Flatulence
It's a teen comedy starring Justine Bateman, Alec Guinness and Charo. In theaters now!
A 6-Year-Old's Diary
So Bonnie was straight snoopin' in Josie's diary. She's 8 now, but this was back when she was 6. The entry was just "I saw Brandt sleeping" and she drew a picture of him. At first everyone was outraged at Bonnie reading her daughter's diary, but that rage instantly transferred to Brandt for sleeping on the job.
Diamond Time
- Everything SXSW Google Sheet
- VOTE FOR THIS AUSTRALIAN BABY!
- Spellcaster
- Save the Weinberg Clan's Home
If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on theDiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!
Movie Draft Chat
- They wanted to start the draft in time for 10 Cloverfield Lane, but that's not gonna happen.
- Ahh fuck we need to get teams together for that, like NOW
- Batman v Superman will be the first movie in the draft
- It seems more popcorn-y than Man of Steel
- Apparently there's a bunch of dream sequences in it
- Brian thinks it could be alright
- Justin kinda doesn't want to see it
- It's gonna be just like Three's Company
- This wasn't a viral marketing campaign for Warner Bros.
Belt Winner
- Justin
- He had to sing a Road Runner theme to the tune of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream while doing the devil sticks
Great Quotes
- "When's Katy Perry gonna cover the Road Runner theme song?" - Brian
- "We need to build a wall between me and those Mexican Martinis." - Bonnie during the Pap Smear talk
- "Cooter scoop! It's gonna move ya!" - Brian singing about Pap Smears to the tune of the Juicy Fruit song
- "The butt's the most playful naked part of the body ever." - Justin when Brian mentioned that he wasn't comfortable with a female doctor putting a finger up his butt
Fun Facts
- Drunk Justin isn't completely terrible at the devil sticks
- He learned them at a Ren Faire
Characters
- Postini during the Podcast Awards segment