Episode 114: Crack Castle

Justin goes back to his roots as he reprises his role as a road weary reporter, we listen to an extremely offensive song that still exists for some reason and we prepare for the next in an increasingly long list of live Night Attack shows.

Released on April 27, 2016, 3:35 am UTC


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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia


Brian and Justin are legit award winners. Brian found out that Discovery VR (which Brian and Justin were a part of) won a Webby Award for best "VR: Cinematic or Pre-Rendered (Branded)".

How neat is that?!

Cold Open

Brian and Justin sing about the geometry of vaginas.

Woah, Justin is a Reporter Again?

A long time ago, Justin got a degree in journalism. Then he got a job with a magician and started writing on the internet… then he started doing podcasts… then he met Brian… then he started doing a lot more podcasts… then he got a job doing scavenger hunts… then he made podcasts his fulltime job… and now he's out in New Orleans to report on the COLLISION conference. Makes sense. (He's on location for DTNS.)

Relatable Problems

So Justin got on a red eye this morning for a flight to LAX. He walked into the United Club Lounge when he heard over the loudspeaker "Hey, this United Club will be closing, get the fuck out. Go to the other United Club four gates down.". THE WORST, RIGHT?!

Anyway, Justin busted out some major first world problems and the Chatrealm responded in kind with "#WPR"

The Crack Castle

So Justin rolls into his New Orleans hotel at 5:30 am and it's a dump. In Justin's words, it's not a "Crack House", it's not a "Crack Den", it's a "Crack Castle". He goes to the desk to check-in, but check-in doesn't start until 3 pm. Ugh, whatever, he goes to take a nap on the couch in the lobby hoping that someone will check out and he can get in early. He wakes up at 8 and goes back up to the same guy. No dice. Now, this is kind of a problem. Justin actually has to look respectable to go interview tech luminaries at the conference.

He explains his situation to the dude at the desk and the guy explains "Ohh, all you need is a shower? This place is not only a hotel, but it's also a hostel. The hostel's got public showers, go ahead." Unfortunately, Justin's been out of the travel game for so long that he forgot to bring soap or shampoo. He resorted to stealing the leftover supplies in the public showers. Oh also there's no hot water.

This reminded Brian of a time when he was staying in a stranger's house on the road and he used their toothbrush.


The Patreon is at $1517. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

This week, instead of a mixtape, Brian and Justin released a commentary track for Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue.

At the end of the Patreon track, they play an obscene clip from Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Brian found it so amazing that it still exists and they ended up playing it on the episode and talking about it for five minutes or so.

Watch it for yourself (probably only if you're in the United States).

San Francisco Night Attack Is Ready For Their First Show

The live Night Attack in San Francisco is fast approaching and we need to come up with a bit for the show. For Austin Night Attack Live 2016 the Chatrealm came up with 30 Seconds or DIAF, what are we gonna do this time? The first idea was "Shock Collar Karaoke". Brian was super into the idea, but Justin was hesitant because it's starting to feel like we're just descending to the level of Japanese game shows. Then Brian suggested that they play [http://www.amazon.com/Lightning-Reaction-Reloaded-Shocking-Game/dp/B0006B2Q50 "that one game with the four handles with a button on them and the mysterious music that plays then when the music stops, everyone presses the button and the last one to press it gets shocked".

Eventually the idea morphed into a combination of that shock game and Truth or Dare. At the start of the round, a very embarrassing question will be posed and the person who gets shocked has 10 seconds to answer, or face some form of consequences.

If you are gonna be in the Bay Area on May 7th at 4:30 pm, head over to the Eventbrite page for the event to RSVP. It's at PianoFight at 144 Taylor St, San Francisco, CA 94102.

Hatting the System

Hey! Nominations for the Podcast Awards are still open! Go to hat.t2t2.eu to nominate your favorite shows.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • Brian was talking to the dude who handles promotions at the Alamo Drafthouse and told him about the Movie Draft. There's a chance that we could get a theater for a live movie draft show

Nobody's Gonna Win a 2012 Kia Soul

They mentioned all the live shows they have planned (SF, CreateCon in Orlando, DragonCon) and a Chatrealmer asked if any involved a 2012 Kia Soul. This was a reference to the disaster of a New Year's Eve show Brian and Justin back in 2011 (and I guess 2012 too… it was New Years…) when the dude running the show never paid them and never gave away the 2012 Kia Soul that was raffled off.

Justin asked Brian what he would do if Garrett introduced them to his business partner for CreateCon and it was the same dude that hoodwinked them from the New Years show. Brian explained that he isn't really a violent person, but he would really want to punch the dude.

Belt Winner

Great Quotes

  • "Oh yeah? Well I'll be dead of cancer by then!" - (Preshow) Brian impersonating a member of the Beastie Boys reacting to critics saying that they'll never amount to anything
  • "... constructive critic-jism." - (Preshow) the punchline to Brian's dad joke
  • "... Isis Isis Isis Isis Isis." - Bryce reading the SNIFF FARTS poster

Fun Facts

  • During the Hatting the System segment, Bonnie dropped and broke a piece of art that she had been working on for the past few days.


  • Dr. Pussy - Bonnie


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