Episode 123: Estonian Man Ruins Everything

We recap the "scandal" that occurred during the Podcast Awards, then Captain Morgan and Admiral Nelson face off in a classic Maritime State Capital Showdown.

Released on June 29, 2016, 3:47 am UTC


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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia


Things that happened

  • The guys started to watch the australian magic revealed dude's video about David Copperfield flying over the Grand Canyon
    • Then they decided to first watch the original David Copperfield video with music by Bonnie Tyler (but Brian and Justin kept calling her Bonnie Raitt)
    • After they got tired of the original video, they played the Australian's explanation which had a homophobic joke almost immediately
  • We dug up this old "Toot in your Pants" song that Soundwave made 4 years ago

Cold Open

Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin Justin

Anything Interesting Happen?

  • Justin went to PolitiCon and was within punching distance of Roseanne Barr
  • Brian went on a 24 hour nationwide tour, did a great episode of Weird Things and… oh! Watched the Podcast Awards!

The Podcast Awards

Hey! Remember last year when we publicly put together a voting block and used a bookmarklet created by t2t2 to help us win 7/7 awards at last year's Podcast Awards? That was so much fun that we decided to do it again this year. This time around we had 17 of our friends' podcasts nominated in different categories. Using the same strategy, we won 14 awards! Yay! Winners included JuRYScam SchoolPolitics Politics PoliticsWeird Things and The Bizarre Briefing. Weirdly enough, one of the more popular shows, Cordkillers DIDN'T win. Not sure what happened there. And then everything turned to shit!

You can read the full recap of events here, but right now I'll give you the short version.

A dude on twitter made a stink about our bookmarklet during the award show. Once the show ended, Todd found out about our plan and updated the Podcast Awards site saying that some people (us) have CHEATED! He then updated the site six or seven more times as the night went on and eventually ruled that we didn't break any rules and that the spirit of the awards have been broken. Todd eventually went on to say that he will no longer be handling the Podcast Awards after this year. Probably the most culturally significant event of the night for our community was Todd Cochrane calling us the "Diamond Group". It has become an inside joke to refer to the Diamond Club as the Diamond Group.

Most of the Chatrealm, including Brian and Justin, found the "controversy" super dumb and/or entertaining, since we've become kind of used to things like this over the years. However many of the podcasters who were up for the awards (like Anthony Carboni Jocelyn Moffett) were legitimately bummed about being called cheaters.

If you want to get into the crazy minute details of how this all went down, you can check out the Reddit post from t2t2 (the true mastermind behind this assassination of podcasting). Then also you should consider supporting him on his Patreon.

Welcome New People!

So since the Diamond Club got a decent amount of attention over this Podcast Awards "scandal", we probably have some new listeners this week. Uhh… hello! Welcome! You may be wondering, "How do I become part of the Diamond Club?". Congratulations, you've already done it! Seriously, if you're reading show notes, you automatically get +5,000 Diamond Points! Congrats!

Note: I totally just made up "Diamond Points", that's not a real thing. Sorry. I mean, you can still have them if you want them… they're not real.


The Patreon is at $1,486. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

2016 National Maritime State Capital SHOWDOWN

Two weeks agoAdmiral Nelson confronted Captain Morgan and they decided to face off in a traditional Maritime State Capital Showdown.

The puppets for this faceoff were created by Chatrealmer Jackie Hern.

  • North Dakota
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Fargo
    • Wrong - Bismark
  • Vermont
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Montpelier
    • Correct!
  • Minnesota
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Saint Paul
    • Correct!
  • Connecticut
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Hartford
    • Correct!
  • Kansas
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Lawrence
    • Wrong - Topeka
  • Pennsylvania
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Harrisburg
    • Correct!
  • West Virginia
    • Captain Morgan - Guess - Charleston
    • Correct!
  • Maryland
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Annapolis
    • Correct!
  • Delaware
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Dover
    • Correct!
  • Missouri
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Jefferson City
    • Correct!
  • Nevada
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Carson City
    • Correct!
  • Rhode Island
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Providence
    • Correct!
  • Wyoming
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Cheyenne
    • Correct!
  • Illinois
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Springfield
    • Correct!
  • Maine
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Bangor
    • Wrong - Augusta
  • Michigan
    • Admiral Nelson - Lansing
    • Correct!
  • Kentucky
  • Captain Morgan - Guess: Lexington
    • Wrong - Frankfort
  • New Mexico
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Santa Fe
    • Correct!
  • South Dakota
    • Captain Morgan - Guess: Pierre
    • Correct!
  • Alabama
    • Admiral Nelson - Guess: Montgomery
    • Correct!

Admiral Nelson wins! Flawless victory!

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • We got this locked up, Amtrekker and Chainsawsuit have no more movies - Brian
  • Cordkillers and We Have Concerns are out, our only threat is DTNS - Brian
  • I'm feelin' pretty good - Brian
  • It's nice that they're just releasing funny clips of Ghostbusters now - Justin
  • All the Ghostbusters marketing is references to the original films, there's gotta be surprises in the film - Brian
  • Even if Ghostbusters is bad, it's got INSANE word of mouth - Justin
  • I'm afraid Suicide Squad is the next Guardians of the Galaxy - Justin
  • Ghostbusters will do $200-250 million - Brian
  • Every trailer for Secret Life of Pets looks like DOGSHIT - Brian
  • If Secret Life of Pets doesn't get to $200 million, we're boned - Justin
  • There's GOTTA be a hit in the next month - Brian
  • The latest TV spots for Tarzan is just Sam Jackson saying "TARZAN" - Justin

Samuel L. Jackson Should Just Say the Title of the Movie in Every Trailer

Inspired by the Tarzan trailer, Brian, Justin and Bryce just started


We looked at Brian's website from like 1980 and dubbed the audio over a silent video of him on local Austin news.Check out this old site! Then they dug deeper into some of the old promo material that Brian made and talked about his experience doing his stage show for the first time in... months? A year?

Justin brought up the topic of Kanye West's latest video, Famous, and how it's the most boring use of boobs ever.

Right before they went off the air, they made a reference to Black people aren't slaves in America and Neshcom opened up the ancient (it's like 5 years old) NSFW soundboard.

Belt Winner

  • Brian
    • Belt suspended for the week due to Maritime Rules

Great Quotes

  • "broken spirit = ghost busted ... <> are Ghostbusters" - StillAtWork in the chat talking about the Podcast Awards
  • "Oh my gosh…" - Bonnie reacting to Brian's impression of a "bemoaner" (combination of a boner and a moaner)

Fun Facts

  • This was the first appearance of Captain Crunch on Night Attack



Preshow Doc


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