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Episode 144: Nancy 500

Justin is live from his childhood bedroom to talk about various car troubles and then we rethink our ironic sound effects in another rousing round of Blitz Quiz! All this and more on a GROSS episode of Night Attack! Ya know… a gross? Like 144? Because this is episode 144 and a gross is 144 things. Whatever.

Released on November 23, 2016, 5:43 am UTC

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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Preshow

They watched a flaming shot video, Bonnie predicted a "Note 7" (the phone catches fire). Hah! Funny joke Bon! OH MY GOD SHE WAS RIGHT!

Also there was a preshow video they watched where the title hinted that some goats might get run over by a truck and it's DEFINITELY a video of some goats getting run over by a truck. Just a heads up. Maybe don't watch that part.

Cold Open

Justin's bird jerks off A LOT.

Justin's Childhood Bedroom

Justin is broadcasting live from his childhood bedroom in Davie, Florida. That's pretty neat!

Secret Secret, I've Got A Secret

Brian's buddy CJ Johnson loves throwing a karaoke party. This week, he invited a bunch of friends to a big fun time karaoke party. Brian loves to sing Mr. Roboto, so of course he's down to party with his buds, but this time Brian has a SEEEECRET! He's driving to the party with five of his friends (including Bonnie, Mitzula, Nate Staniforth and their buddy Gordon) when they heard one of those loud-ass motorcycles. Unfortunately it wasn't a motorcycle, it was one of their tires. That's not what tires should sound like.

Brian's super secret surprise is time sensitive, so calling a mechanic wasn't an option. They had to change the tire themselves. It took them a long-ass time to figure out where the spare tire was (it's on the undercarriage in the dead center of the car) and they spent even longer trying to swap the tire out. Then a magic mechanic man in a Fiat just happens to drive by and changes their tire in no time. AWESOME! So they're back on the road and after a while their spare tire goes flat as well. That sucks. They're definitely missing the surprise.

The surprised was that CJ and his "wife" never ACTUALLY got married and they were getting married that night.

Justin Broke Brian's Car

While they were in the middle of Brian's karaoke story, he had to tell the story about how he had to call AAA (a roadside assistance company) when Justin borrowed his car last week. Justin borrowed Brian's car to drive to the airport, left the car in the parking lot and got on his flight. They've apparently done this before, not a huge deal. But this time, Justin locked the keys in the car. That's fine, cars come with multiple sets of keys, whatevs. Unfortunately, Brian assumed that Justin left the keys with the parking lot attendant and didn't bring a spare set of keys.

Patreon

The Patreon is at $1,538. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Mike Dennis!

Milo Magana!

Blitz Quiz

Sponsored Content The fine folks over at Scam Stuff, The Contender, Stickers or DIAF and DiamondClub.tv have offered up some wonderful prizes for winners of Blitz Quiz: the internet's only Call-Out game show.

  • Who was selected as this year's sexiest man alive?
  • Brian's Guess: They'll get it right
  • Justin's Guess: They'll get it right
  • Mitzula's Odds: Yes -300
  • Contestant's guess: (The first motherfucker hung up) Dwayne Johnson
    • Correct!
  • What restaurant chain took some heat after a Veteran had his free meal taken away on Veterans Day?
  • Contestant's guess: Wendy's
    • WRONG
  • What brewery is phasing out its free-beer-for-life perk for retirees?
  • Contestant's guess: Rolling Rock
    • WRONG
    • Correct answer: Labatt
  • Workers for which delivery company are considering going on strike?
  • Contestant's guess: FedEx
    • WRONG
    • Correct answer: UPS
  • A flock of 30,000 chickens in which country was destroyed after an outbreak of bird flu?
  • Contestant's guess: Mexico
    • WRONG
    • Correct answer: Germany
  • Which song was Leon Russell's highest-ranking Billboard single?
  • Contestant's guess: Delta Dawn
    • WRONG
    • Correct answer: Tight Rope
  • Which clothing retailer plans to file its second Chapter 11 bankruptcy in a year?
  • Contestant's guess: Burlington Coat Factory
    • WRONG
  • Correct answer: American Apparel
  • A three-year, $60MM renovation project was just concluded in which building included reparing the painting "The Apotheosis of Washington?
  • Contestant's guess: literally nothing
    • WRONG
    • Correct answer: The US Capitol
  • NASCAR driver Joey Lagano won the Can-AM 500 Sunday, but at the same time lost his what?
  • Contestant's guess: Wedding ring
    • Correct!
  • Which of these states did not legalize marijuana
  • Contestant's guess: Arizona
    • Correct!

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • Fantastic Beasts opened UNDER Doctor Strange! Not so good, Al - Justin
  • Jeff Cannata hated Fantastic Beasts
  • Rogue One is tracking at $120 million in its first week - Justin
  • It's a dumb game anyway, I never wanted to win - Brian
  • Maybe La La Land will be popular with the Good Morning America crowd
  • Award shows are bullshit

Ohh Also Nerdtacular

Nerdtacular 2017 is happening, everyone cool is gonna be there and it's the last one. Nerdtacular.com

Aftershow

As they teased at the end of the show-show, Brian and Justin talked a bit more about what happened after the Click-Clack ad read. More specifically, Brian came up with the metaphor that it's not surprising that New York (Squarespace) and California (TWiT) are upset when Texas (Brian) and Florida (Justin) fuck.

After that story, we got dangerously deep into Let It Go territory which ended with an awkward silence and "ya got any gum?"

Then they watched some more flaming shot videos and talked about plans for a hypothetical Diamond Con. Justin recently passed $800 on his Patreon again so he's in the beginning stages of planning another JuRY in Your House tour so maybe we can do a combination JuRY/Night Attack liveshow to gauge attendance in some city. The cities that were tossed around were St. Louis, Kansas City and Omaha.

Great Quotes

  • "The mysteries of minivans are untold, but delightful!" - Justin
  • "It's like Formula 500" - Brian, describing a dude changing a tire
  • "I'm in Florida, it can't be racist! - Justin during the New Patron Name Chant Corner Hour
  • "SOMEBODY PLAY SOME HITLER!" - Brian calling for the Blitz Quiz sound effect
  • "Email Neshcom at gmail.com with the subject line 'I Have A Huge Boner'" - Brian instructing winners of Blitz Quiz on how to claim their prize

Fun Facts

  • Man, there's lots of Diamond Club merch at DiamondClub.tv/shop
  • Brian called for some Hall and Oates to be played to end the stream and Neshcom picked "Adult Education". Out of all of their songs, that's definitely one of them.

Preshow Doc