Episode 24: Goatse Doodle

We have an good ol' tech failure in the preshow and the entire Chatrealm shit the bed at Blitz Quiz. Luckily, Brian and Justin came together to make an amazing show.

Released on August 11, 2014, 5:00 am UTC


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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Aspersion the Virgin, full of introversion.

Preshow Tech Madness

Before the show, Brian's switching computer decided that it no longer wanted to boot up. After an hour of fucking around trying to get things to work, Brian decided to throw an old "bad" hard drive into the computer and it worked for some reason. Bri Bri got really frustrated since these issues pushed the episode back an hour.


DragonCon is quickly approaching, Brian and Justin's plans for a Turquoise Jeep concert fell through, so get ready for #FT9K! No, I didn't just punch my keyboard. #FT9K is FUCKTRON9000. We know Ali Spagnola and Professor Shy Guy are gonna be there, but WHO KNOWS what else would happen, it could be ANYTHING! GEORGE HRAB?! TOM CATTT?! MC ALLERGY?! BEATLES REUNION?!

Join the conversation on twitter using the hashtags #JoinTheConversation and #FT9K.


The Patreon is at $1969. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Soon, Brian and Justin will release an EP full of conversations between Brian and Captain Morgan. Go pledge to the Patreon for a penny or more and you'll get the EP. But come on, go in for a dollar ya, piece of shit.

#FT9K Part 2: Turquoise Jeep Rises

Brian and Justin spent about 20 minutes on the show coming up with ideas (like a battle rap between Alex Jones and Pierce Morgan) about what they're going to do at DragonCon to fill the void left behind by Turquoise Jeep. Well, turns out Bri and Jurbs had an ace up their sleeve: Turquoise Jeep. Two days after the Jeep told Justin they had to cancel, they told Justin that they could send half of the Jeep out to DragonCon to perform!

Blitz Quiz

It's Blitz Quiz, fuck you!

  • Idiot who took his sweet-ass time to answer.
    • How many school shootings have occurred since the Sandy Hook shooting? 14, 55, 74 or 103
    • Guess: 14
    • Incorrect - 74
  • Hi it's Tom, Sorry I missed your call. Leave your name, number and a brief message and I'll call you back. MM'bye.
    • Fuck you
  • Dummy
    • A Republican candidate in this state said stoning gays would be the "right thing to do." Arkansas, North Dakota, Florida or Oklahoma
    • Guess: Arkansas
    • Incorrect - Oklahoma
  • Lady
    • A Category 2 storm Iselle is predicted to be the first storm to make landfall for the first time in 22 years in which location? New England, Galveston, Acapulco or Hawaii
    • Guess - Galveston
    • Incorrect - Hawaii
  • Dude
    • A three-day truce in what war appeared to be holding, after the last attempt lasted 90 minutes. The Syrian civil war, the war in Gaza, the war in Eastern Ukraine or "The War on Whites"
    • Guess - Syria
    • Incorrect - Gaza
  • Lady
    • On Thursday, a UN backed tribunal handed down the first judgements of murder and extermination against the leaders of what regime? "Dirty War" era Argentina?, Khmer Rouge era Cambodia, Hutu Power era Rwanda or Saddam Hussein era Iraq
    • Guess - Uhh, the last one?
    • Incorrect - Khmer Rouge era Cambodia
  • Djtwel
    • MIT researchers discovered a way to eavesdrop on people by doing what? Listening to their keyboard clicks, watching their Adam's Apple, filming their potato chip bags or lifting finger prints off their phone screens
    • Guess - Adam's Apple
    • Incorrect - Filming their potato chip bags
  • Tenky
    • Becky Hammond became the first woman to work full time where? NBA coaching staff, US army special forces, Vatican or the sports website "Deadspin"
    • Guess - US special forces
    • Incorrect - NBA
  • A human (one would assume)
    • Medical teams battling the ebola outbreak in west Africa are finding it difficult to prevent. What local practice is a likely vector for the disease? Using human blood as tattoo ink, fertilizing crops with ground up antlers, sharing clothes with rhesus monkeys, or eating fruit bats.

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Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the Diamond Club Subreddit and submit your thing. Just be sure to include "[diamondtime]" in the submission title.


During the show, the Chatrealm brought this orchestral version of Mass Text to Brian's attention. Neither Brian nor Justin had ever heard it before despite it having been released a year earlier. The Chatrealm blew up Tay Allyn's twitter causing her to call in to the aftershow. She was in her PJs recovering from a drunken adult kickball game.

Great Quotes

  • "Now we have a show called Night Rape, and we curse on it" - Justin
  • "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! What's the point of life anyway? We're all just meat sacks that are gonna decay." - Justin imitating Brian trying to fix his computer.
  • "Hey Justin. I'm Knock-Knees Crotchy McFace." - Brian
  • "Oops, I accidentally just hit a spaceball." - Brian
  • "We have the dumbest listeners in the entire internet" - Justin

Fun Facts


Preshow Doc


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