Brian and Justin are together in Oakland and they're pretty drunk. They reveal a little more about Brian's "vacation", come up with a dozen rhymes for "Uber" and bask in the glory that was their annual live show at Dragon Con.
Brian and Justin have cause nearly a billion dollars of damage to the world's GDP.
Live From Jurymore Studios
Brian is live inside Justin and Ashley's apartment in Oakland, CA and they have a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE! Patrick Delahanty is silently watching the two of them from across the room.
Why Does Anybody Ever Take Brian Seriously?
So Brian has been on "vacation" with his co-host of Hacking the System, Jason Murphy, for two and a half months and it turns out that a lot of people, including some of Brian's personal friends believed that he actually took a vacation without his family. There's a good chance that a large chunk of Brian's twitter followers believe that Brian and Hacking the System co-host, Jason Murphy, are having a gay love-affair together. I can assure you that the Hacking the System co-hosts are not having sex regularly. I'm sure if you asked the Hacking the System co-hosts, they can give you TEN reasons why the Hacking the System co-hosts would go on vacation together in Los Angeles. Maybe the Hacking the System co-hosts will show you some of their home videos in a bit.
Brian and Justin have been working on some projects that they can finally talk about. Here are just a few of the things they've been working on.
- Uber but for porn. Boober
- Uber for sitcoms. Taxi
- Uber for jism. Goober
- Uber for running roughshod through Europe. Hitler
- Uber for bamboo. Tuber
- Uber for fisting. Luber
- Uber for shit. Poober
- Uber for drunks. Stuber
- Uber for McGyver. McGruber
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Ev Lloyd's Kid
Long-time Chatrealmer Ev Lloyd is having a baby with his wife-lady. So Brian and Justin have took it upon themselves to complete the character creation for Ev and his wife.
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Taylor Karras Got A Sunburn
Taylor Karras got an "extreme sunburn" and wanted some solutions to get it "fucking off me". He got brody'd.
Previously on Night Attack
Two weeks ago on this show, you may have gotten the impression that Brian didn't respect confidentiality clauses. Well, this week, Brian wants you to know that he is perfectly fine with confidentiality clauses and loves his friends over at Discovery. If you're not aware, this is in regard to Brian's contract negotiations with Discovery Digital over the rights to Scam School. Brian gave a vague update on the situation saying that the head honcho of Discovery Digital has proposed an exciting solution that could satisfy all parties involved.
Dragon Con Wrap Up and More Vacation Talk
Justin and Brian talked a bit about how Bonnie was drunk texting Brian during the live Cordkillers panel at Dragon Con. Also, the people running Brian's vacation weren't aware of Brian's plans at Dragon Con. They were under the impression that he was just taking a three-day weekend to recharge, rather than doing a billion panels involving drinking and talking loudly. They talked a bit about what Brian had to do it fit both Dragon Con and Nerdtacular into his busy vacationing schedule.
Ohh yeah, and James Gunn showed up to the Night Attack, #FT9K, after party. Justin talked about how he was a little disappointed that they didn't quite pack the room like they have in past years. However when James Gunn, or as Justin described him, "George Lucas from 1977" showed up to his afterparty all of his disappointment evaporated.
Night Attack is returning to Tuesdays! THIS TUESDAY?! NO! Next Tuesday.
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Krunchy Calls In
Chatrealmer, Krunchy (of the "guy who peed in my vagina" story), called in and talked about her experiences at Dragon Con. She doesn't remember any of the partying after Night Attack, however she found over 7 hours of audio recordings that she doesn't remember. She also made out with a dude and later found out that she had bronchitis.
Brian and Jason Vs. Juvenile Diabetes
Brian and his Hacking the System co-host, Jason Murphy, were on a 48 hour livestream to help end juvenile diabetes. It was a lot of playing video games, however there were a few other activities. For every $100 that was donated, the streamers would spin a wheel a do something dumb. Brian took a pie to the face, then he (but mostly Jason) danced to "Turn Down for What". Long story short, they killed diabetes.
Brian had his mind blown by a script written by a writer of his vacation. It's call "Lincoln Express". It follows Abraham Lincoln on Train Force 1 on his way to give the Gettysburg Address, when the train is hijacked by terrorists lead by John Wilkes Booth. Brian and Justin gave a dramatic reenactment of a portion of the script.
- "Are there any other words that rhyme with Uber?" - Brian
- "God damn, we're amazing." - Brian, referring to their impressions
- "And now the House of Commons will discuss the violation of Krunchy's vagina." - Justin
- This was Brian's final day of Vacation.
- Brian and Justin recommend that everyone jerk it on a roof.