Brian tells a story involving three beers worth of vomit in a hotel room and they debut Horseshit History, a bit that combines random non-sense from the Chatrealm and actual historical events.
Show notes by Leon - Latest version on DCTVpedia
Jesus Christ, We're Starting?!
Brian played the nearly 5-minute Satan's Jizz video and, with no warning, started the show using the video as the cold open.
The episode started off with some standard travel stories and how both Brian and Justin are sick.
Austin Magician Stories
Brian got roped into doing a magic performance at a local magic club that gave him his start 60 years ago. The guys did some role-playing with Brian as himself and Justin as beginning magicians asking for advice.
Then Brian was reminded of a time back in the 90s when he was performing a trick in front of a big, hot shot booker. Die hard fans would find it interesting that also in the room was C.J. Johnson and Bonnie (before they were married or even dating). The trick involved Brian pulling a balloon through his nose and out of his mouth. While he was reaching into his mouth to pull the balloon out, Brian accidentally vomited all over himself and collapsed in laughter along with everyone else in the room. Brian and Bonnie then started dating and had three children.
YOU JUST GOT BOILED!
The Patreon is at $1954. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.
If they reach 1776 patrons by the Christmas episode (two weeks from the time of this recording) they will put on a Piers Morgan vs. Alex Jones themed Christmas play featuring MikeTV. Also, they haven't told MikeTV.
How many of you like Hardcore History? A lot of you? Apparently? I dunno. Well, Brian and Justin came up with their version called Horseshit History in which they both seriously begin retelling the story of some historical event, then ambush a caller from Chatrealm and have them say some random bullshit. Brian and Justin then have to continue seriously retelling the events incorporating into the story whatever the Chatrealmer said.
For the maiden voyage of the bit, they read the Wikipedia article for the Attack on Pearl Harbor. There were some awkward moments, where things didn't go so smooth, but hey, it's the first time they're doing this. Gotta iron out dem wrinkles!
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So ChetPaige.com exists, and it's awesome.
Self-Help Book Update
So Chatrealmers have begun writing chapters of the book. Go read some of it if you want to have a good time.
New facts to use in the stories:
- Ex-girlfriend: Melody. They met in community college
- Siblings: Angela, Larry (both younger)
- Parents: Marcy, Robert
If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!
Night Attack 3: Too Old To Talk
Our Lord and Savior Neshcom has confirmed with CDbaby, the release of Night Attack 3: Too Old To Talk on December 16th, 2014. The coordinated "let's all buy the thing at the same time" strike will be at 12 noon Pacific Time (3 pm Eastern Time, 2 pm Central Time, 9 am Hawaiian Time, 3 am Indochina Time). It'll be on iTunes, Amazon, CDbaby and probably other places too.
Go Home Santa, You're Drunk
Justin has updated his book of Santa-themed book of short stories for 2014. There's three new stories, but they're so long that the audio version is nearly twice as long as the original book.
You can find all the details at GoHomeSanta.com
- "I spent an hour gargling salt water and the balls of hobos." - Brian
- "It's really not that great of a story… It was literally the hardest time I've ever laughed." - Brian
- You may have thought that Justin just has an awesome soundboard, but in this episode Tensorguy played the part of the soundboard.