Hey, it's a bonus Thursday show! Brian talks about how he first learned about sex and we slog through some not-so-great videos in Trial By Jury, but it's all worth it because we unearth some amazing Australian YouTube gold.
Show notes by Leon - Latest version on DCTVpedia
Justin uses a time machine to go back in time to record a cold open, but it doesn't work.
Brian's Ryan Connolly "Impression"
This week's Scam School features a Domain.com ad in which Brian impersonates Film Riot host. Watch it! It's an awesome parody ad, however it's really not much of an impression. It's basically just Brian with a slightly different voice.
Justin then tried out his Ryan Connolly impression which sounds exactly like his R.L. Stine impression.
Also in the ad was Brian as a "Wreckless Hobo". Brian was afraid of offending homeless people, but really, what are the homeless going to do? Run to the library and send Brian an email? They can't waste that precious jerk-off time!
Brian Researched Sex in a Library with His High School Girlfriend
So back before the internet, when Brian was 17, Brian wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. So naturally, they decided to head to the library to figure out how this "sex" thing works. The guys burnt what could've been an awesome Night Attack album track, and had an extended conversation about Brian's first foray into "leg-fucking" research.
Also, Bonnie might not be the biggest fan of Brian telling this story on the show so lets just keep this on the down low.
The Patreon is at $1945. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.
Trial By Jury
This is the segment in which, much like a house cat laying a dead bird at your feet, the Chatrealm collects some not-yet-popular youtube videos for Justin's viewing pleasure/hatred. The videos are rated on the classic BBliveShow-era "New Champion Woo!, Same Champion Boo" system.
- Super Cuts Boo
- Guy dancing in China Boo
- I'm the cook Woo!
- Meh Boo
- Don't watch this Boo
- Okay? Boo
- Think Big Boo
- Projet final anime trad Boo
- Hot dog factory Woo!
- Real Ultimate Power for dogs Woo!
- Jeopardy Boo
- Toy Trumpet Virtuoso Boo
- Interrogation (must watch through 30 secs) Boo
- Night Attack Sucks Cock Boo
- Treadmill Fail Into Push Up Recovery Boo
- Bikie Wars Woo!
JuRY's Great Plan (For Being Hated)
Justin came up with an idea for a Kickstarter to make himself the most reviled person in the world. He'll write a song for kids that encourages them to scream. "When your teacher talks, SCREAM! When your parents talk, SCREAM!". Then he'll start a Kickstarter to buy as much ad time on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and the Disney Channel to just play that song to kids. Everyone who just wants to ruin the lives of parents everywhere will chip in!
THEN Brian came up with the ingenious second half. Justin starts a second Kickstarter aimed at parents where, if he gets a million dollars, he will NOT buy the ads.
- "Fuck you, you know I'm a graduate of Goat Fuckers University!" - Justin during Brian's sex research story
- "Red Lobster fucking ruins everything" - Justin at the end of Trial By Jury
- Almost exactly one year earlier, Brian and Justin announced that they were ending the NSFW show on the episode Night of 1000 Announcements