Episode 57: Coo This Man

Tom Merritt is back to play Don't Get Brody'd, Brian is going on another "vacation" and we learn what it sounds like when doves cry.

Released on March 25, 2015, 2:30 am UTC


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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Uncle Chuckle's Secret Sticks.

Oh Yeah, Tom Merritt is on the Show

Brian forgot until after the show has started that Tom was a guest on tonight's episode.

Fast Talkin', Gum Snappin' Hollywood Brian Brushwood

The star of National Geographic's Hacking the System, Brian Brushwood recieved some documents from Mr. Network Television involving a possible TV appearance. Brian was asked to appear on an episode of Penn and Teller: Fool Us. Brian is actually friends with Teller, so Brian's first reaction was "Hah! Yeah, right." However, Brian forwarded the email request to Teller and Teller convinced Brian to go ahead with it. Brian was all in on doing the appearance until someone asked why he would appear on a reality competition show when he already has his own TV show. Good point... But he's gonna do it anyway.


The Patreon is at $2,214. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

When Doves Cry

For 15 years, Brian and Bonnie have argued over the interpretation of a few lines Prince's "When Doves Cry". The song goes "This is what it sounds like when doves cry. *vocal solo*". It is Bonnie's opinion that the vocal solo is Prince's impression of doves crying. Ton agrees with her, but Brian and Justin think she's insane.

Don't Get Brody'd!

It's the game where the Chatrealm calls in to tell a story in an attempt to keep the hosts' attention for as long as possible.


  • Powell Worth (?)
    • He was on a road trip with his buddy. His buddy started smoking a cigarette, but didn't realize that his arm was covered in gasoline. His arm became engulfed in flame, they were understandably freaked out and pulled over. Upon exiting the car, his buddy started running toward some nearby cops for assistance, however the cops drew their guns and proceeded to shoot his friend. When asked why they shot him, the cops responded "What do you expect when you run at some cops with a firearm?"
  • Robert Gonzales
    • When he gets drunk, he sends himself texts to inform his future-self what happened. So on Halloween 2014 at about 3 am, his texts informed him that he spent about two hours in a FedEx using all of their printers while dressed as an axe murderer. The employees were all staring at him and eventually asked him to leave. Instead of being a cool dude, he locked himself in the bathroom and refused to leave. This is where the texts end. The next morning, he woke up in a park with an $80 printing charge on his credit card, 8 Gatorade bottles and a huge stack of a photo of his ultimate frisbee team that they had taken at the party.
  • Ben
    • This is a story about the first time he saw boobs. Ahh crap… can I start over?
  • Ryan Alcott
    • He had a girl over that was QUITE a bit younger and she had some great tits. Things were going great- fuck you Jury.
  • Ben
    • Alright, this is the story about the first time he saw boobs. He was in 8th grade…
  • Ben
    • So he's in 8th grade in crafts class. They're making pinhole cameras and there are some girls that absolutely do not believe that these cameras will work. Eventually, he and his buddies convinced them to flash the camera since they were so sure that the camera wouldn't work. One of the girls' friends took the picture. He and his buddies went back to the darkroom to develop the picture and some amazing blobs were showing up, but they remained just blobs.
  • Fake British accent caller
    • Mr. Jones… Mr. Jones...

Electronic Song

Here's Jury's "Electronic Song" put together by Steven Cogswell. awtfy.com/electronicsong

Your Pizza's Gettin' Made!

Justin and Brian love the death metal song that plays on Domino's "Your pizza is getting made" online ordering system. Just told the story of the time he did a GoGame at the Domino's corporate headquarters and he praised their metal song, but they had no idea what he was talking about.

Brian and Justin Aren't Business Men, They're Play Boys

So the guys got Neshcom to send invoices to Mailroute and Squarespace. This was how they found out that Mailroute is scaling back their advertising budget and they pausing their Night Attack sponsorship for now. Squarespace is sticking around though.

Once Upon a Time in the Projects

If you're a long time listener, you know that the guys are terrible at following up on old projects they've started. So they've come up with a whole segment dedicated to long term projects.

  • The Journey, when's it gonna be released?
    • I dunno publishing tools have changed since The Diamond Club so, yeah. 4/20 sounds like a cool date to release it.
  • Live Shows: more than just Nerdtacular and Dragon Con?
    • That'd be cool. Maybe if we get to the "Personal Space" patreon goal they could do one in Austin or Oakland. What would you like to see in a live show?
    • Also if they get to the "Personal Space" goal, they'll do Hearth and Oates once a month.
  • The Merritt Files
    • Yeah, it's recorded bro. What more do you want?!
  • The Summer Movie Draft
    • It's either: do it next week, or not include Furious 7. Also there's lots of people that want to pay and there's surely a ton of scheduling conflicts. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT!
  • Lincoln Express
    • I dunno man. They record it occasionally.
  • European Timed Episode
    • On 4/20
  • Summer Music Series
    • We all think this is a great idea, but we don't really have a great performance space. The patreon HQ would be a cool space for a performance. It would also be a cool place for a live Night Attack episode.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Great Quotes

Fun Facts

  • Sarah Lane HATES driving
  • This page was written almost entirely on a phone.

Preshow Doc


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