Episode 68: Veronica Nails It

The Brushwoods are NOT getting a puppy, Veronica is here to give you advice and then she absolutely nails it with her interpretation of "Bikie Wars".

Released on June 10, 2015, 4:19 am UTC


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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Sex used to be great back in the old days.

Dear Veronica

Hey, Veronica has a new show on Engadget. It's called Dear Veronica and it's like a 21st century advice column. Viewers send in their questions, and she or one of her expert friends will provide answers.


Justin has gone through some serious shit. He was only upgraded on HALF of his United flights today. Also, they removed the bagel toasters from the United Club Lounge, but replaced the bagels with bagel sticks. He doesn't know how to feel about this change.

To recover, he went down to the hotel bar for some alcohol-fueled happiness. Turns out they couldn't give him beer, however he utilized out a legal loophole to get them to sell him a full bottle of wine. The bottle normally sells for $13.99, but Justin bought it from the hotel for $40.

This lead to a longer conversation about the times they've bought outrageously overpriced food and drinks.

Brian and Bonnie Are Moving On Up

Listen, Brian and Bonnie just wanna walk around their house in their underwear, but they got all these damn mid-20s skinny boy employees walking around their house all the time! What are Brian and Bonnie to do?! Well, they're thinking about ceding the entire first floor of their house to podcasts and Scam Stuff and move their bedroom up to the second floor where the studio currently resides.

However, there's another plan...


Alright, so Brian has been looking at buying a puppy. The puppy only lives about 5 miles from Brushwood Manor and she has 1,600 sq ft of floor space. It's a two-story puppy, so there's plenty of room to run all of the business side of Scam Stuff with all the podcast recording studio space upstairs. Also the puppy used to a fire station. BUT IS THERE A FIREMAN'S POLL?! I dunno man, Brian didn't answer the question, but judging by his reaction to the question I'd assume "no".

There are some downsides however:

  • It'd be more difficult for Bonnie makes appearances
  • The puppy will have to be powered by Time Warner Cable

Again, WE'RE NOT BUYING A PUPPY! This is a good looking puppy that we might buy, if everything works out. The puppy might die of cancer tomorrow.


The Patreon is at $2,159. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

What is Veronica Watching

This is the segment where they watch a video and Veronica explains to the audio-listeners what's going on.


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Dear Veronica 2: This Time it's Personal

  • Brian: Should I buy a fire station?
    • Veronica: Yes
  • Brian: What about a puppy? An actual puppy.
    • V: Puppies are hard
  • Justin: What's the best way to buy a bottle of wine after hours?
    • V: You gotta social engineer that shit
  • Tensorguy: Would you early adopt Pied Piper or Hooli's Nucleus? (This is a "Silicon Valley" reference)
    • V: Pied Piper, Nucleus doesn't even have a beta yet.
  • Some guy who's name I didn't catch: You guys should do a Bikie Wars cover.
    • V: That's not a question.
  • Justin: What do you do if one spouse is putting in a lot more work into planning their wedding.
    • V: The answer got cut off
  • Lisa: She's a creative video editor, but she isn't able to do any of that in her current job. She can't find a more creative job. What should she do?
    • V: Do some free-lance work and make sure you're getting paid what you're worth.
  • Paul: Who would win in a fight between Tom Merritt and Ryan Block if the fight were to take place in Lime Jell-o
    • V: Tom's got the reach, but Ryan's stronger.
  • Scott: My two dads promised a puppy, but I think I'm gonna get boned on that.
    • V: One of your dads loves you, the other doesn't
  • lfka;sj (I didn't hear the name): My husband works in game audio and I wanna know if the standard resume is the best way to go.
    • V: They're gonna want a reel of some sort with his previous work. Just give them something that you've already done to show off your abilities.
    • Justin: Be best friends with Rob Krekel
  • Segasu or Byon (I definitely spelt both of those wrong): I'm not very outgoing, how do I not die alone?
    • Brian: Go to GermanAdultFriendFinder.mobi
    • V: There's some great places online to meet people (like the Diamond Club) also you can go toMeetUp.com to find people who like the things you do.
    • Justin: Walk outside and shout "I am ready to take on the world!". Then yell "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" (He actually did both of these things and it was awesome)
  • Taylor: I wanna know about the fat-burning possibilities of grapefruit. (a reference to this video)
    • We'll watch it in the aftershow

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • The CRUMDUM on Reddit is really awesome - link
  • Justin: It's almost time to start thinking about the Winter draft. For the 40th time: What should we do about Star Wars? Someone could just insta-bid 100 for Star Wars and win the draft.
    • Cut it out of the draft completely? No
    • Split it into two equal shares? Ehhhhhhh
    • Split it into "opening week" and "rest of run"? That could work
  • Brian: Seriously, Veronica you're in the winter movie draft.
    • LOL this promise is made to like 10 different guests for every draft
    • But now we have Neshcom to book guests, so this might actually happen


Brian showed Veronica the grapefruit video. This brought us about 20 minutes of entertainment with Brian just playing the slurping noise over various videos.

Great Quotes

  • "You make a cute lesbian." - Bonnie about Brian in the Patreon cover picture

Preshow Doc


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