Show Notes
Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia
Cold Open
None, dude.
Tables
Yo, BTW, they started the show standing on a table. I don't think they mentioned it on the show.
Justin's One Man Show
Literally minutes before the episode, Justin finished his live one-man show. It was really good. You should check it out somewhere. It'll probably be on the Jury Podcast rss feed.
Brian's Vegan Poops
So Brian and Bonnie are on a "cartoon vegan" diet. In other words, they're vegan for six weeks. Brian talked about how his poops, and more specifically, his "poop audio" is different. According to him, it sounds like a snoring lumberjack with apnea.
This is usually fine when he's at home; unfortunately he's at Nerdtacular. During lunch earlier in the day, Brian went into the bathroom to make quick poops and it turns out that Tom Merritt followed him to do his own business. Brian tried to warn Tom that things were about to get loud, but the way he described it it just sounded like gay sex. Turns out Tom was in a similar situation and was about to make loud poops of his own. They both entered their own stalls and realized they were in a Mexican stand-off, both looking for a way out. Brian scrambled for his phone trying to play some kind of funny audio to relieve the tension. It was at this point that Brian realized that Tom was thinking the same thing and beat him to the punch. From the other stall, Tom played "Hard Times Come Again No More" by Iron and Wine. Brian, upset that he was beat, started playing some Thundamentals. Oh yeah, meanwhile they're both pooping very loudly right now. It was a fun time probably. Oh and there was some MC Frontalot too I think.
Patreon JK, Anthony Carboni and Jeff Cannata are Here
The Patreon is at... I dunno, who cares Anthony Carboni and Jeff Cannata are here. If you want to become a patron, head on over toPatreon.com/NightAttack.
The Contender is FUNDED!
Jesus Christ, I have to explain so much shit for this episode. I'm also drunk. So Justin and friends launched a Kickstarter for their card game The Contender. They probably talked about this in previous episodes, but I don't remember and I don't wanna look it up. It's a card game, it's like Cards Against Humanity, it's political debate themed.
Anyway, it launched the day that this episode was recorded. Its goal was $15,000. It funded during the episode (like 12 hours after it launched or something). Gratz, bro!
Here's all they said about The Contender in this episode:
Anthony Carboni: "THE CONTENDER FUNDED!"
Justin: *Takes off his shirt and runs around in circles*
Anthony Carboni is Afraid of Heights
So Brian, Anthony, Jeff and a Chatrealmer were on a ski lift the day before this episode. Anthony is afraid of heights and has never been on a ski lift. He was freaked out. You can watch Jeff's periscope here.
Nerdtacular's Cool, Right?
Hey! Nerdtacular is nice! There's windows in the bathroom. That's kinda weird. There's nice people. That's cool. Their beer is mostly water. The jury's still out on that one.
Don't Get Brody'd
There's no way I'm gonna be able to type out all these stories fast enough! Basically audience members tell stories they think are good. The moment one of the hosts gets bored, they get Brody'd. The person who lasts the longest without getting Brody'd wins.
- Garrett (The dude from The Angry Chicken podcast) - He lived in a shitty town in high school and went to a sex shop with his friends. They were looking at weird dildos. They bought a big floppy black one. They went back home and he was the first to fall asleep. He woke up as one of his friends hit him in the chest with the dildo and he chased his friend around the room and hit his friend in the face with the dildo. His girlfriend, now wife, was laughing hysterically.1:57
- Matt - 22 years ago, he and his fiance met the naked man of Berkeley. Something Something Brody. 0:42
- Dude - He works at a landfill and he found a thigh bone. He called some dudes and they said it was from a cow. But he said he also found a human foot. Diabetes or something. Hospital I dunno. No Brody 0:57
- Shawn - 1997 he just moved to NYC from CA. Brody Like 5 seconds
- Shawn again - Hobo poopin on a car in NYC. It's his first day there. Voice says "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Dude drops a deuce on a car. He can't believe it. He's walking to an acting class with a friend some time later. There's a homeless dude say "You two look really good together". It's the same homeless dude. 1:01
- Justin (yeah the host) - He's in NYC delivering papers or some shit and there's a homeless dude jackin and peein and laughin
- Biocow - Drivin real fast and shit. Gets pulled over. Goes for registration, finds a brown paper bag. GOTTA HIDE THAT SHIT! Cop gets suspicious. It's not a gun. Pulls him out. He's in cuffs. Cop looks in the bag. It's a big bag of condoms. 1:13
- Chris - A story about a corpse. His dad had just died. They're viewing his body. Only his head is exposed. Funeral director is trying to upsell. He's getting cremated. Chris gets pissed, knocked the shroud off his dad's corpse. That's how he, his girlfriend and the funeral director saw his dad's cock. 1:08
Garrett Hearthstoneman wins!
Goddamn… that's probably the best I've ever done following Don't Get Brody'd stories. I SHOULD BE DRUNK EVERY EPISODE!
Garrett Hearthsoneman Is Here
He's from Florida. So is Justin and Anthony! CRAZY!
Plugs
- Garrett - Amove.tv
- Jeff - We Have Concerns DLC Slashfilmcast
- Anthony - We Have Concerns Three Scientists Walk Into A Bar
- Tom - Daily Tech News Show Cordkillers FSLtonight
That's a good song! That's a REALLY good song! I didn't like that song.
(That was a reference to another podcast)
Wait Shirts?!
The show's over but Brian is yelling. What? Bryce is doing a thing. Brian has a bunch of old pre-Night Attack, pre-NSFW, pre-BBLiveshow shirts. They sold them for $5 a piece, 5 for $20. They didn't get to pick what shirt they got. But this doesn't matter to you since you weren't at Nerdtacular. Did I mention they were at Nerdtacular? Oh yeah, this was a live episode. Shows over.
Great Quotes
- "Wait, timeout! Why didn't he look at his penis?" - Anthony
Fun Facts
- I'm drunk
- I was definitely sober by the time I got around to posting this. Didn't edit a thing. FUCK EDITING! #YOLO!