Episode 76: Kibbles N Bitch

MikeTV is back in studio as the guys ask the tough questions to America's politicians.

Released on August 5, 2015, 2:15 am UTC


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Show Notes

Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia

Cold Open

Ed Skeen: The Jew that's here for you!

What if Hitler was a Dog?

Brian and Justin are totally wiped out from their weekend at Nerdtacular. Brian called up Justin before the show to talk about how he's got nothing in the tank and, in an attempt to get Brian in the headspace for Night Attack, Justin posed the question "What if Hitler was a dog?!" On the show, the guys spent a few minutes exploring what it would be like if Hitler was a dog.


Brian and Justin talked about their experience at Nerdtacular. Spoiler: they had a great time.

What if Pol Pot was a Cat?

Seriously, think about it. Would we hate cats?

Hey! Get Set Go Has A New Album Out!

Check it out, dude! It's some experimental stuff and he doesn't know if this is going to be the final product that he actually releases. He played one of his new songs "3000 Megatons Of Love" live on the show.


The Patreon is at $2137. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Justin's Crazy Night

So Justin got back to Oakland from Nerdtacular on Sunday, got up at 7am on Monday for a thing down in Milpitas, went over to San Jose for WWE Raw and then had to be in Santa Cruz for a Go Game on Tuesday morning. Raw wrapped up at about 8pm, and he hung out with Willie "Dills" Gregory for an hour or so. He knew it takes about an hour to get to Santa Cruz so he's not worried.

It's like 10:00 or something and he heads out on the road. He puts the location into his phone and it says it'll take an hour and 40 minutes to get there. Ehh, whatevs, GPS is wrong all the time. He doesn't worry about it. His Go Game cohort calls him up asking where he is, she expected him to be there already. Well fuck, he tells her to just keep her phone on her and he'll call her if he needs help finding the place. Well he gets up into the mountains and the highway gets smaller and smaller until he's just driving on a dirt path. There's no cell signal. He's on his own. Both Apple and Google maps take him to an empty field. He looks at his notes for the game and figures out the address for the place. He finally finds it at like 1:30am.

He rolls up and there are some drunk dudes to ask for help as to where his Go Game partner is. After taking a quick look around the place he realizes that this is just a campground and he isn't going to be sleeping in a hotel tonight. He finds his coworker and she asks "Where's your tent?". He has no tent. "Well, do you have a sleeping bag?". No sleeping bag. He ended up sleeping in his car. So that was fun.

Well at least the hard part is behind him. Oh actually, tomorrow he's flying down to LA tomorrow, driving over to Ontario for a Go Game, driving back to LAX and then flying out to Ohio for another thing. Jesus.

The Contender

Remember the last episode when Justin and John Teasdale's card game Kickstarter funded? Well as of this episode, The Contender is DOUBLE funded! CRAZY! It's a Cards Against Humanity style card game with a political debate theme. You don't have to be into politics to like it either. Check it out and back the Kickstarter if you're still living in a time when the Kickstarter is active. TheContender.us

We Ask the Tough Questions

Debate season is upon us and the guys came up with some questions that we want our politicians to answer.

  • What if Hitler was a dog?
  • Sir, if you were an animal what would you be?
  • Can you draw me a giraffe?
  • Sup, bro?
  • Does this dress make me look fat?
  • China, amirite? (alternately "Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiina amirte?")
  • If you were at a bar…
  • What is your favorite dinosaur and why? And if it were to have one weapon, what would you put on it?
  • Why the south?
  • Is it true that you have never, not even once, slept in a 2007 Toyota Matrix?
  • Do you sleep on your belly?
  • Who do you cosplay as?
  • If you had to give uzis to a dinosaur, which dinosaur would be the coolest?
  • Where's the beef?!
  • Do you consider The Olive Garden to be "authentic Italian food"?

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Let's Just Talk to Mike for the Rest of the Show

So Mike recorded like 6 albums worth of songs in the past (period of time that I forgot, but it was a very short amount of time to write 6 albums). Also he formed a band with his girlfriend so that's weird at times.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • How are we going to deal with Star Wars potentially going for $100?
    • Nobody/everybody gets Star Wars (dumb)
    • If one person bids 100 then a second person bids 100 for the same movie, then they start bidding for portions of the gross. i.e. Person1 bids 100 for 95% of the gross. Person 2 bids 100 for 93% of the gross and on down the line until somebody chickens out
    • Everyone agrees that the movie order should be randomized during the bidding

Support Alpha Geek Radio

Hey man, Alpha Geek Radio AKA one guy named Todd Whitehead, was responsible for all the livestreaming from Nerdtacular as well as all of the audio and video streams at AlphaGeekRadio.com (including the live audio stream for Night Attack).

Well Todd is looking to upgrade things and he needs your help. He has an IndieGogo and you should absolutely head over and pledge some money. He provides an amazing service and we should all help him make some upgrades.

Fun Facts

  • Brian recorded some lines for Gatowag's "Brick and Shorty" Scam School ad during the aftershow

Great Quotes

Justin: "What if Jesus was just, like-"

Brian and Mike: "A dog?"

Preshow Doc


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