The Brushwood girls are making national news, we take the temperature of Iowa voters and is Brian sufficiently becoming part of the booty?
Show notes by Leon - Latest version on the DCTVpedia
Justin is a docent at a miniature golf museum. Yeah.
The Bunchems Breakdown
So there's this new toy out there called Bunchems. They're these little plastic balls that stick to each other (and other things) like velcro. You can build stuff out of them, they're neat! However, they can take a dark turn.
On the night of November 14th, there was a slumber party at the Brushwood household. A "bunch" of young girls were having a nice night playing with toys and being children, when tragedy struck. ALL THOSE GODDAMN BUNCHEMS GOT STUCK IN THEIR FUCKING HAIR. Bonnie, another mom and Brian (for like 5 seconds) toiled over the girls' hair to try and untangle the toys. Man, that was a stressful night, but that's probably the end of that story.
OH WAIT. WHO'S THAT ON THE PHONE? THE WALL STREET JOURNAL?! Yep, a few days later, a dude from the Wall Street Journal contacted Brian in an attempt to talk to Bonnie about the debacle. On November 19th, this article showed up in the WSJ. SWEET! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! Just today, a film crew came to the Brushwood household to film a segment for Good Morning America. How neat is that? Here's a behind the scenes shot of Bonnie and Penny getting ready for their interview. Bonnie even tried to sneak a Diamond Club symbol into the interview, we'll see tomorrow on GMA if it made the cut.
The Patreon is at $1,944. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.
4 Iowans, Bi Iowans
The Iowa Caucus is the first major step in the United States Presidential Election. Leading up to the caucus, all sorts of nefarious organizations poll random hobos to try and take the temperature of the Iowa voters. Instead of reaching out to Iowa residents, we had the Iowans call us. Brian and Justin asked the callers questions about their voting preferences and political ideology and then out of respect, thanked them for their service. Who knew we had so many fans in Iowa?!
- Are you from Iowa?
- Do you plan on voting in the Iowa caucus?
- Are you a registered voter in Iowa?
- Is a hotdog a sandwich?
- In what way does it differ from a sandwich?
- Do you think that Donald Trump is ready to lead on day 1?
- Do you smell that?
- Motherfuckers: should they stop fucking their moms?
- Are you more or less likely to get a boner if Bugs Bunny dressed like a girl and said "Hey you, let's have sex tonight."
- Do you think Hillary Clinton is telling the truth?
- Choose one: evolution or the constitution.
- On a scale from 1 to unbelievably racist, how would you rate that last caller?
- Only pick one: Who would win in a fight, your mom or me after giving it to your mom so hard that I have a scientifically quantifiable increase in strength?
- According to Joseph Campbell the Hero's Journey begins with the ordinary world and ends with the return with Elixr. What's the square root of 462?
- Who do you plan on voting for in the Iowa Caucus?
- Yes or no: Bunchems are great
- Yes or no: You're in a dark room. You know someone else is there, but they aren't saying anything.
- How did you get in here?
- Who did you vote for in the last election?
- Cool story bro: Agree, Strongly Agree or Strongly Strongly Agree?
- When's the last time you had diarrhea?
- Pick one: Pol Pot or Adolf Hitler, you must kiss one on the lips.
- Are you political?
- Yes or no, for $100,000 what is the capital of Ustanzia?
- Did you vote for Perot? Why not?
- On a scale from 1-10, seriously, what's wrong with Tom Jones?
- Are you a bottle of rum?
- Why do you think people cuddle?
- But specifically that move where they spoon together in bed, what's up with that?
- Butts: Agree, Strongly Agree or Agree Strongly with Reservations?
Uncle Chuckle's Sticky Fingers
Stick them where you wanna be stuck.
Use the code "nightattackstickystickems" and turn off your monitor for an additional 25% off!
Hey it's almost Black Friday so the gang over at Scam Stuff are slashin' prices all over! Brian sang the song the Scam Stuffers have been singing behind the scenes.
The Contender is currently rolling off the assembly line in Dallas and this is your last shot at pre-ordering. Normal orders will start once Justin gets word
Justin is a Wimpy Man
Justin and Ashley found some plans for a wood murphy bed online, but Justin has never built a thing not from Ikea in his life. So Ashley is gonna have to do the heavy lifting on this one, literally.
Also the two of them will be streaming all day on Thanksgiving. Check it out starting at 10 am pacific on Thanksgiving morning at Twitch.tv/FakeGamerGirl.
Brian Dances On!
This week there's no new dancing, just the judges talking about last week's dances. The judges were down on Brian's performance because he wouldn't "be a part of the booty". In other words, he wasn't into his partner, Brinn, enough. Next week, Brian wants to get Brinn on Night Attack to get her perspective. ALSO! Brian is going to ask his mom her opinion on whether or not he was sufficiently part of that booty.
As always, vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote (for Brian)! dctv.link/votebrian
- Help Evan's Dad who got diagnosed with terminal brain cancer
- <> Swag
- The Dirtbags of Holding
- Forgotten Frontiers
If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!
Movie Draft Chat
- Star Wars is on track to make $170-300 million opening weekend
- Star Wars has to break all the records for me to win - Brian
- Star Wars invalidated the draft - Justin
Pretty much immediately after the show ended, Justin did a boodle of Adele's Hello and this lead to a Brian and Justin duet to the tune of AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" with Justin boodling and both of them yelling about Bunchems.
- karl - !s 4 Iowans, Bi Iowans
- Juanyam - !s 4 Iowans bi Iowans
- Lisa_J - !s 4 Iwoans, Bi Iowans
- X-modem - !s 4 Iowans bi Iowans
- r_r - !s 4 Iowans, Bi Iowans
- "They're creepy and they're kooky, they're all together ooky, they're probably raped a Wookie..." - Justin
- "Hey, sometimes I think we're funny." - Brian after the "Bunchem Struck" song in the aftershow
- "As far back as the ancient Greek tragedy Medea…" as spoken in the aftershow is a reference to Brian's magic routine.
- OMG Chad in the aftershow